mytopleft

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Weather haiku

Haven't had a haiku of any kind in a while, so I figured it was time:

Ice on my windshield.
80 just the other day.
Weather is fucked up.

Hard to believe I'm not Japanese.

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Thank God we have references like this to steer us in the right direction

I don't know how we could ever put on a Halloween costume without advice from college students. This flow chart, thank God, provides us the help we need:


Don't know what I'd do without them. Apparently anything criticizing President Trump is OK and pretty much everything else is racist. If you open the image in a new tab, you can enlarge it so you can truly absorb the wisdom contained therein.

Hat tip to Campus Reform via Instapundit.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

I should think carefully about what I post about

The other day I posted about my love for Key Lime Pie Filled Twizzlers, and my sadness that I had given my last package to Cpl. Wolves. Today, what should appear on my doorstep but a package, addressed to me, from someplace I had never heard of. I knew I hadn't ordered anything. What should I find inside but four packages of Key Lime Pie Filled Twizzlers. To the reader who sent them, thank you. And what Cpl. Wolves doesn't know won't hurt him. These are mine.

What the fuck is wrong with California?

Everything, pretty much, but they keep making things worse. Having decided that they don't need no stinking immigration laws, they also have decided that you will be made to care, under penalty of law. Specifically, if you don't call transgender people by the pronoun that those people choose, you will be punished:
California health care workers who “willfully and repeatedly” decline to use a senior transgender patient's “preferred name or pronouns” could face punishments ranging from a fine to jail time under a newly signed law.
...
Among the unlawful actions are “willfully and repeatedly” failing to use a transgender person’s “preferred name or pronouns” after he or she is “clearly informed of the preferred name or pronouns.”
The law states that if provisions are violated, the violator could be punished by a fine “not to exceed one thousand dollars” or “by imprisonment in the county jail for a period not to exceed one year,” or both.
If you don't think California will extend such punishments to everyone eventually, you haven't been paying attention to California lately. If the preferred pronoun is xi, xe, xis or whatever, you better fucking use it if you work in a nursing home. And soon, no doubt, it will be in every workplace. That's how California rolls. Do they care if the First Amendment bars the government from dictating what people say or don't say? Oh, hell no. First Amendment? We don't need no stinking First Amendment:


Get used to it, kids. That's how California rolls.

Monday, October 9, 2017

I've found a new obsession

Back in April, I stumbled across a package of Twizzlers in a store -- I still can't remember which one, but I think it was Target. They were Key Lime Pie-Filled Twizzlers. I bought a package, and ate them. They were really fucking good. I told Cpl. Wolves about them. He was unable to find any. In May, we went to Florida to visit Maj. Wolves, and failed to locate any there. Subsequently, I ordered six packages from some place online.

I was given to understand that they were a limited time issue. When they arrived, I gave three of the packages to Cpl. Wolves, who devoured them, probably by the time he arrived home. I hoarded mine, eating them slowly. Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fucking good. Finally, I was down to one package. Cpl. Wolves came over a week ago, and since we hadn't seen him in a while, I gave him my last package of Key Lime Pie-Filled Twizzlers.

Sometimes, I wonder what the fuck is wrong with me. He's only my son, after all, and I gave up my last package of Key Lime Pie-Filled Twizzlers. I need to get my head examined. I'm obsessed with these things, and I gave them away. Obsession, you say:


OK, not that kind of obsession, but still.

Saturday, October 7, 2017

Mmmmmm, key lime cheesecake

Mrs. Wolves found a recipe for key lime cheesecake that I just had to try. Glad I did. You start with a cup of graham crackers (about nine) ground up into crumbs, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 5 tablespoons of melted butter, 1/3 cup of lime juice, 1/2 cup of heavy cream, 3 tablespoons of sugar, 16 ounces of cream cheese, softened, 1 can of sweetened condensed milk, 1/2 teaspoon vanilla and six limes. The limes should provide the juice, zest and lime slices.

So first we make the crust. Turn the graham crackers into crumbs in a blender, add the sugar and salt:


Soften the cream cheese in a separate bowl:


Melt the butter:


Mix the butter with the crumbs mixture:


Spray some cooking spray into a 9-inch springform pan:


Spread the graham cracker crumbs evenly across the bottom of the pan:


Put the pan in the freezer for 15 minutes so it will set. Meanwhile, add the sweetened condensed milk to the cream cheese:


Squeeze enough limes to get 1/3 cup of juice:


Like this:


Add that to the cream cheese and sweetened condensed milk:


Beat the shit out of that stuff:


No, seriously. Beat the shit out of it:


 Take the whipping cream and beat it:


Looks beat to me:


Mix the whipped cream into the beaten cream cheese:


Pour the mixture over the chilled crust, cover with plastic film and refrigerate for at least 12 hours. At this point, you will pretend that I didn't forget to take a picture of the finished product and you will enjoy the fuck out of a delicious cheesecake. No, seriously. Just do that.

Monday, October 2, 2017

Yeah, game food porn

I cannot believe it took me this long to get up the game food porn from LAST Sunday, when we beat the Bengals in overtime. It did, though. I guess I'll get to the game food porn from Thursday night, when we beat the living fuck out of the Bears, later. As it is. Last Sunday, we had, of course, stuffed potato skins:


We also had bacon-cheeseburger macaroni and cheese, which is really, really good:


We also had brown sugar bacon dogs:


Oh, my word, good stuff. Not for your heart, mind you, but mighty tasty. The recipes, of course, can be found by searching the blog. You should. Your stomach, if not your heart, will thank you.