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Sunday, July 27, 2014

Did I fart?

Actually, if that were the explanation, I must have farted a lot, but I'm pretty sure that's not true. (I did nod off a couple times, so I could have farted like a dog while I was asleep and not know about it, but I don't think that happened, either.)

At this point, I'm sure all of you are wondering, "What the hell is that boy talking about?" OL, I'll splain. As I mentioned previously, I got moved a little while ago. As it turned out, my seat was even better than the near-perfect seat I had before. It is ambush-proof and I have bootleg internet access. Perfect. Of course, I was sitting next to a fucking neurotic chick, but that was tolerable, since she never spoke.

Well, almost never. She spoke to tell me that she could hear the music from my headphones and could I please turn it down. She would say this regardless of how low I turned it, so I basically started ignoring her. When I moved into my seat, the two desktops were touching (ours were the only two desks in our "row:" we were two desks backed against a short wall/window, facing out from the wall. Sweet.)

Tuesday or so, I noticed that our desks were about 6 inches apart. And each day thereafter, they were a few more inches apart. She was moving to the left every damn day. Yesterday, the desks were about 2 feet apart. And today, she had moved to another seat in a row further off to the left. I figured that if I wasn't ripping, I must have vicious BO or something. Finally, I asked my team leader what the fuck was going on.

Turns out to be much more bizarre than somebody fleeing farts or BO, though. The chick has a severe sound sensitivity, apparently, and was fleeing the miniscule level of sound escaping from my earbuds. Why she can't just buy some damn sound-cancelling headphones is beyond me. I don't see how she survives in Temp Town without them.

Because this sensitivity of hers apparently is much worse than not wanting to hear a little Toby Keith leak out of my headphones. Apparently, after I left yesterday, somebody opened a bag of baby carrots by squeezing it until it popped. The "pop" apparently damn near sent her into apoplexy and she nearly fainted. Made me feel a little better about her moving away. It wasn't personal -- she's batshit.

Naturally, the tem leader wouldn't let me sneak up behind her and yell "Boo!" Apparently there's a lot of paperwork when somebody dies on the job.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

A scared temp conversation

Two temps arrived together this morning, just before time to fire it up. As they entered the suite, one temp sort of wrinkled her nose, and the following conversation ensued:
Temp 1: This room smells bad.
Temp 2: This rooms always smells bad. This is just the first time you noticed.
Temp 1: I guess this is what a project smells like.
Temp 2: It smells like temps and fear. Mostly fear.
Yeah, when the time gets short on a project, the fear level rises. Right now, folks are approaching the trapped-in-a-small-room-with-a-hungry-tiger level of fear. Sure, we saw lots of projects posted in recent weeks, but they've staffed already. Will anybody be staffing once we get cut loose? It's a crapshoot.

Friday, July 25, 2014

My God, it's worse than Saturday night in Chicago!

Another 50 people got whacked from the project tonight. Even by Chicago standards, that's a lot of people getting whacked in one day. Also, turns out the 40 people who got cut the other day were actually 80 people -- the 40 I knew about, and another 40 from a different review location a few blocks away. Took awhile for the news to trickle over to where I am. That makes 130 people cut this week, roughly, and leaving us with about 300. I told you it was a big project. Anyway, this is definitely end of days, so I will go ahead and predict that nobody is still working on this project past Thursday. Come August 1, we'll all be gone. It was a good run, but it is coming to an end.

Hard to complain, what with the bunches of overtime we got over the last six weeks. Market still looks busy. Hope that's still true in a week.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Glad the neighborhood wasn't too jacked up for Lebanon to pay its first visit to Eff You

If you were thinking that things are a little too hectic in the Middle East these days for someone in Lebanon to drop by Eff You, then you would be wrong. Civil war in Syria on one side, Israel duking it out with Hamas on the other side. Sounds bad, right? Well, when the going gets tough, the tough go to Eff You for a quick visit. Got our first visitor from Lebanon yesterday.

Lebanon is a major Middle East crossroads and for many years benefitted from that. It was a part of the Ottoman Empire for about 600 years, becoming a French mandate after World War I. The country gained independence in 1943, and for a long time, things were good:
Before the Lebanese Civil War (1975–1990), the country experienced a period of relative calm and renowned prosperity, driven by tourism, agriculture, commerce, and banking.[10] Because of its financial power and diversity, Lebanon was known in its heyday as "the Switzerland of the East".[11] It attracted so many tourists that the capital, Beirut, was referred to as "the Paris of the Middle East".[12] At the end of the war, there were extensive efforts to revive the economy and rebuild national infrastructure.[13]
That civil war sucked, and Lebanon has had trouble ever since. Despite periods of stability, Lebanon keeps getting torn by warfare, frequently involving outside forces.

Anyway, by all accounts it is a beautiful country and, because someone in Lebanon came to Eff You, the Wolves family is now obligated to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Lebanon in times of trouble, so don't mess with my peeps. Lebanon, welcome to Eff You Nation.  Come again soon.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Still kickin' it big-time in the Indian Ocean -- got me some Madagascar

I admit, there are a few more Indian Ocean hotspots left to conquer, but joining Reunion in the Eff You family of nations is Madagascar, our latest first-time visitor. Madagascar is home to a metric shit ton of species found nowhere else. A former French possession, the island nation off the southeast coast of Africa is nominally a democratic republic, but since 2009 has been ruled by a guy who seems to have taken power in a sort of coup and dissolved the legislature. Sounds like a dick.

Based on what Wikipedia says -- and we all know that if it's on Wikipedia, it must be true, right? -- it's a pretty poor country:
Madagascar's GDP in 2009 was estimated at 8.6 billion USD, with a per capita GDP of $438.[11] Approximately 69 percent of the population lives below the national poverty line threshold of one dollar per day.[108] The agriculture sector constituted 29 percent of Malagasy GDP in 2011, while manufacturing formed 15 percent of GDP. Madagascar's sources of growth are tourism, agriculture and the extractive industries.[109] Tourism focuses on the niche eco-tourism market, capitalizing on Madagascar's unique biodiversity, unspoiled natural habitats, national parks and lemur species.[110] An estimated 365,000 tourists visited Madagascar in 2008, but the sector has declined as a result of the political crisis with 180,000 tourists visiting in 2010.
Having said all that, somebody from Madagascar came by, so please extend a warm Eff You welcome. Come again soon, and bring your friends.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

So, maybe Maryland screwed up

Ya think? In it's never-ending bid to curtail the Second Amendment rights of its citizens, Maryland managed to cost hundreds of Maryland residents their jobs -- or at least force them to move to Tennessee. Beretta USA Corp., the American subsidiary of the Italian weapons manufacturer, has decided to relocate its Accokeek, Md., facility to Tennessee. Why? Because Maryland can't be trusted, that's why:
Beretta U.S.A. Corp., located in Accokeek, Maryland, announced today that it has decided to move its manufacturing capabilities from its existing location to a new production facility that it is building in Gallatin, Tennessee. The Gallatin facility is scheduled to be opened in mid-2015. Beretta U.S.A. had previously planned to use the new Gallatin, Tennessee facility for new machinery and production of new products only.
“During the legislative session in Maryland that resulted in passage of the Firearm Safety Act of 2013, the version of the statute that passed the Maryland Senate would have prohibited Beretta U.S.A. from being able to manufacture, store or even import into the State products that we sell to customers throughout the United States and around the world. While we were able in the Maryland House of Delegates to reverse some of those obstructive provisions, the possibility that such restrictions might be reinstated in the future leaves us very worried about the wisdom of maintaining a firearm manufacturing factory in the State,” stated Jeff Cooper, General Manager for Beretta U.S.A. Corp.
“While we had originally planned to use the Tennessee facility for new equipment and for production of new product lines only, we have decided that it is more prudent from the point of view of our future welfare to move the Maryland production lines in their entirety to the new Tennessee facility,” Cooper added.
It's so weird -- when you threaten people's livelihoods, they go somewhere else. So long, Beretta. I don't blame you for not trusting Maryland.  Apparently, Maryland legislators -- and presidential hopeful Gov. Martin O'Malley -- thought they could crap all over Beretta and still keep the jobs and capital investment in the state. They banned every single fucking firearm Beretta makes by limiting magazine capacity to 10 rounds -- Beretta firearms all exceed that capacity -- and thought the firm would stay here. Good for Beretta. Fuck Maryland.

World's cutest kittens fight to the death, or something

OK, maybe not to the death. Mrs. Wolves captured on video a desperate battle as Mayhem defended a paper bag while Murder tried desperately to breach the keep. Who will come out on top? Enjoy the kit-tays: