Maybe. Consider this from Saturday Night Live, that bastion of woke:
And of course you should watch this. I think comedy may have finally realized that being funny is more important to comedy than being woke.
Monday, June 25, 2018
Sunday, June 10, 2018
I think I've worked with this guy
This brings back disturbing memories of the second project I ever worked on in Temp Town. First, let us deal with this truly horrifying tale of international air travel gone disastrously wrong:
The flight was heading to the Spanish island of Gran Canaria when it had to make an unexpected detour as passengers became overwhelmed by the “unbearable” smell of the “unwashed” man.
The man in question smelt so bad that other tourists began fainting and vomiting after the plane took off from Schiphol Airport in the Netherlands.
Belgian passenger Piet van Haut who was on board the flight described the smell of the man as “unbearable.” . . . It was like he hadn't washed himself for several weeks. Several passengers got sick and had to puke."
Fainting and vomiting! Sadly, I am at least tangentially familiar with what these poor people went through. On my second project in Temp Town, we were stuck in two rooms that clearly were usually used for storage of case files. There were about 20 people in each of two rooms. One of the rooms had to be the home of the dude who came to be known as "Stinky Guy."
Alas, the room that came to be the home of Stinky Guy proved to be the room in which I was required to sit. I begged. I pleaded. I complained constantly. Nothing helped. The folks at the firm would come by in the morning, when Stinky Guy had not yet reached his peak offensiveness. They saw (or smelled) no problem. At noon, he went to lunch, walking to God knows where in the summer heat. When he got back, he smelled like he hadn't bathed in months. It would seem that our suffering was nothing compared to the people on this particular international flight:
Staff on board the Transavia plane had reportedly tried to quarantine the passenger in a toilet of the Boeing 737 before pilots took the action to divert the flight.Apparently, the plane landed in a Portuguese city and threw the stinky fucker off the plane. They claimed he was taken off the flight for "medical reasons." Yeah, like people on the flight were going to die if they didn't remove the stench. The airline isn't even pretending the dude didn't stink at levels that made it impossible for other people to be in an enclosed space with him. They tried to pass it off as a medical problem -- I'm sure at some level it was -- but they admitted that the fucker just flat-out stuck:
A Transavia spokesman said: "The aeroplane diverted because of medical reasons, but it is indeed right that he smelled quite a bit."Transavia, of course, is the same airline that had to make an emergency landing in Vienna during a flight from Amsterdam to Dubai because a passenger was ripping one killer fart after another. And he didn't care. Maybe Transavia should stop marketing itself as the airline that stinks, or whatever they do.
Saturday, June 9, 2018
Yeah, so this is a little awkward -- and disturbing
My current project is not located at the firm or at the agency. We are in rented space at one of those companies that rents out temporary office space. While many people view people using temporary office space renters are losers who don't really have a business, it is worth noting that, by renting office space and striking out on their own, these people already have shown more initiative and ambition than pretty much every contract attorney on the face of the planet. Many of them are budding entrepeneurs. But I digress.
What I actually am getting at is how much these people otherwise are so much like temps, and how much the environment in which we works fits perfectly with Temp Town. For instance, on Thursday and Friday of this week, anyone whose olfactory senses had not been destroyed by the stench of Temp Town or sniffing glue could detect a faint scent of poo in the atrium of the building in which we are working. Upon entering the lobby of the tower of the building in which we are working, it became clear that the whiff of poo was really, really strong. In fact, I was not the only person who was pretty sure someone had shit in the elevator lobby. And please, considering history in Temp Town, the possibility was not outlandish. And the smell was unmistakable: it was poo.
Sure, my natural inclination was to blame it on a Temp, even if a homeless person sneaking into the building was a more likely suspect. However, another guy on the project may have found an even more likely suspect.
As you know, I never identify people by name -- I assign nicknames. The temp who has served up a more likely suspect presents problems for me. He seems like a nice guy: intelligent, easy to get along with, possessed of social skills -- in other words, not like most temps. Nonetheless, he has a beard that makes it look like he is on the short list to be the bass player for ZZTopp, and a haircut that makes it clear that he is either seriously gay or a rampaging urban hipster who needs to be put out of my misery. He is neither, so I give his account of a likely suspect high credibility. For lack of a better name, I shall refer to him as "Freak Show," even though I am sure a better nickname applies. But, once again, I digress.
Friday morning, Freak Show -- who always is first to arrive at the office, at least among those people working in our room -- got to work, opened our office, then went to the bathroom, where he found another tenant -- not a temp on our project, but apparently someone else also renting office space -- taking what can best be termed a "hobo bath." In my experience, this includes bathing as best you can by splashing yourself with water from the bathroom sink, usually targeting the armpits. That isn't what was happening, or at least not exactly.
This guy apparently was splashing himself with water from a toilet. In his defense, he was targeting his armpits for this hobo bath and, granted, the toilet appeared to be freshly flushed and not full of poo or anything, but it still was a toilet. Used dozens of times a day by God knows how many temps and other tenants of this office space. Yet there he was, dipping water from the toilet and semi-bathing with it. Needless to say, the encounter was just a bit awkward.
We had already speculated that this particular individual was actually living in the office space he was renting. His office space smells like a landfill. This tends to support the theory that he both lives in his office space and that he took a poo in the lobby. More concerning, though, is this: Is it possible we have found someone even more socially undesirable than a temp? Do we want to accept that such a thing is even possible?
Naturally, we assume that, if this person is, in fact, more socially undesirable than a temp, he clearly is a leading suspect as the guy who made the elevator lobby smell like poo. Hard to believe we might have found someone more likely to have taken a dump in the elevator lobby than would be a temp. A little scary, really.
What I actually am getting at is how much these people otherwise are so much like temps, and how much the environment in which we works fits perfectly with Temp Town. For instance, on Thursday and Friday of this week, anyone whose olfactory senses had not been destroyed by the stench of Temp Town or sniffing glue could detect a faint scent of poo in the atrium of the building in which we are working. Upon entering the lobby of the tower of the building in which we are working, it became clear that the whiff of poo was really, really strong. In fact, I was not the only person who was pretty sure someone had shit in the elevator lobby. And please, considering history in Temp Town, the possibility was not outlandish. And the smell was unmistakable: it was poo.
Sure, my natural inclination was to blame it on a Temp, even if a homeless person sneaking into the building was a more likely suspect. However, another guy on the project may have found an even more likely suspect.
As you know, I never identify people by name -- I assign nicknames. The temp who has served up a more likely suspect presents problems for me. He seems like a nice guy: intelligent, easy to get along with, possessed of social skills -- in other words, not like most temps. Nonetheless, he has a beard that makes it look like he is on the short list to be the bass player for ZZTopp, and a haircut that makes it clear that he is either seriously gay or a rampaging urban hipster who needs to be put out of my misery. He is neither, so I give his account of a likely suspect high credibility. For lack of a better name, I shall refer to him as "Freak Show," even though I am sure a better nickname applies. But, once again, I digress.
Friday morning, Freak Show -- who always is first to arrive at the office, at least among those people working in our room -- got to work, opened our office, then went to the bathroom, where he found another tenant -- not a temp on our project, but apparently someone else also renting office space -- taking what can best be termed a "hobo bath." In my experience, this includes bathing as best you can by splashing yourself with water from the bathroom sink, usually targeting the armpits. That isn't what was happening, or at least not exactly.
This guy apparently was splashing himself with water from a toilet. In his defense, he was targeting his armpits for this hobo bath and, granted, the toilet appeared to be freshly flushed and not full of poo or anything, but it still was a toilet. Used dozens of times a day by God knows how many temps and other tenants of this office space. Yet there he was, dipping water from the toilet and semi-bathing with it. Needless to say, the encounter was just a bit awkward.
We had already speculated that this particular individual was actually living in the office space he was renting. His office space smells like a landfill. This tends to support the theory that he both lives in his office space and that he took a poo in the lobby. More concerning, though, is this: Is it possible we have found someone even more socially undesirable than a temp? Do we want to accept that such a thing is even possible?
Naturally, we assume that, if this person is, in fact, more socially undesirable than a temp, he clearly is a leading suspect as the guy who made the elevator lobby smell like poo. Hard to believe we might have found someone more likely to have taken a dump in the elevator lobby than would be a temp. A little scary, really.
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