Everyone has a role to play in this world

Face it, we can't all be a baller, those athletes whose skill and dedication are so great that their fellow athletes acknowledge their prowess by referring to them as ballers

But we can all own a melon baller. Go ahead, feel one in your hand:

You know you want to:

Once you have a melon baller, you can do all kinds of things. With melons, anyway. And people will mention you and say, "Dude, that's a baller." So you'll have that going for you.