Finally, proof that I'm right -- all hipsters look the same

I know they think they're expressing their individuality, but the truth is, urban hipsters -- the replacement for metrosexuals, quite possibly the stupidest "trend" ever, as it was launched by a gay dude who just wanted straight guys to pretend they were gay --  all look the same. They chase the same "new" looks so that they all continue to look exactly the same all the time. They'e gone through man-buns -- really? -- and their grandfather's old fedora that they actually bought at a hipster store because every hipster's grandfather ever said to them, "No, you can't have one of my fedoras. You're a douchebag," and black-rim glasses, most of which had plain glass lenses because the douchebag hipsters generally didn't have vision problems. That last choice is truly ironic, at least if the goal of hipsterism is to get laid, as the military has issued those glasses as the standard since before World War II, referring to them in military style as "corrective vision devices, eye glasses, black-rimmed" or some such other catchy name. The troops always referred to them as military-issue birth-control devices.

But I digress. I know I'm right about these d-bags all looking the same, because now I have proof they can't even tell when a picture of an urban hipster d-bag isn't even them:

At the end of February, MIT Technology Review emitted a pithy rundown of a 34-page research paper from maths-modelling boffins at Brandeis University in the US; the paper essentially posited that in a bid to make that all-important "countercultural statement", hipsters can end up looking alike. For groovy models of how random acts by hipsters "undergo a phase transition into a synchronized state" – along with some knotty network equations – see here.

Accompanying the article was an edited stock image of a generic millennial chap in plaid shirt and standard-issue beanie, or "trendy winter attire", as Getty put it.

Immediately, some dude wrote to the magazine threatening to sue for libel because the guy claimed the picture was of him, was used without his permission, and, apparently, it is slanderous to call someone a hipster in "trendy winter attire. Frankly, I'd be pissed, too, were someone to describe me that way. On the other hand, it will never happen as I am not trying to look like this:

Anyway, turns out the picture was a stock photo and was not a picture of the hipster threatening to sue. Even the dumb-fuck hipster couldn't tell himself from other hipsters.

Ah, the price they pay to assert their individualism.