Denmark is closing in on Germany, but . . .

For several years, tiny Denmark has been closing in on much larger Germany in the total visitors count. That trend continues, and I could see Denmark passing Germany in the next year or so if trends continue. On the other hand, France, also much larger than Denmark, has been surging in recent months and is now much closer to Denmark than it has been in I don't know how long. My advice to Denmark is to kick it into gear. Just sayin'. Maybe a little advice on what Denmark should do to France:



Hit it, Denmark.

Early days, but The Farm is producing nicely

The cold weather crops are coming in nicely. Because of the relatively warm winter, we got a lot of stuff in the ground in early March. They are now starting to produce. Here we have the bed of white radishes:

Harvested some of that stuff today. The red radishes are doing nicely, as well:

Harvested some of that today and last week. The asparagus is coming up:

Not that I'll ever get any of it. Farmer Tom's family eats it all:

Spinach is going well. Some got harvested last week and today:

Two half beds, and they're likely to produce for a few months:

We'll probably reseed those a bit to fill in holes. The peas are coming in nicely, as well, and will need some hole-filling themselves:

I probably also will need to put in a string trellis tomorrow so they can climb. If it doesn't rain:

Took a chance and put in a couple tomato plants a couple weeks ago, to try and get some staggered production. We covered them for the freeze the other night, and they came through nicely:

Did a little harvesting today. Got some radishes, white and red. The white ones look like carrots:

Harvested some spinach, as well. Somebody is getting salad tonight:

Also harvested a bunch of parsley from Farmer Tom's herb garden. He's up to his ass in parsley. Looks like a lot of garnishes to me. I suspect I will wind up drying a lot of it, then grinding it for use as a seasoning:

So, The Farm is doing well. With a little luck, this will be a good season.

I think this says it all

I know that, like me, you deeply appreciate all of the encouragement we've all received from celebrities during the Wuhan virus pandemic. And here is someone from the UK who put together a video that says it so much better than I can. Most of these celebrities are famous only in the UK -- doesn't that say something about celebrities overall? -- but I think the message is just as touching, poignant, and touching. Just watch it, and tell my you don't feel a new encouragement from the celebrity messages about how we're all in this together.

Government knows best

For eight of the next 14 days, there is rain in the forecast. This is not substantially different from the last month or so, except that in the last month or so we've had lots of actual rain. My county has a burn ban because of dry conditions. I want whatever drug they are taking, as I am fairly sure it would ease the lockdown for me.

We're in the best of hands

I'm still unclear about why anyone listens to her about anything. And she wants to tell us all what to do?

Puh-lease. Thank God we don't have to listen to our "betters." Hat tip to Instapundit.

Dan Crenshaw is going to be president one day

Bill Maher, who often is fair but was not trying to be so here, got his lunch fucking handed to him by Rep. Dan Crenshaw the other night. Doubt me? Watch. One guy had his ducks in a row, one guy did not.

He does it even further here. This guy comes in with the facts and does not relent. The former SEAL clearly knows how to handle himself under what lesser beings would call pressure.

This is sad, but inevitable

When Willie Davis, Hall of Fame Packers defensive end from the Lombardi era, died the other day, I wondered how many of those guys are left. Eleven of the Lombardi players made the NFL Hall of Fame. Most were still alive just 18 months ago. Today, there are only four: Dave Robinson, Paul Hornung, Jerry Kramer, and Herb Adderley. Looks like Vince is putting the team back together.

My readers know how I love bacon

I recently have received a couple of suggestions for things I could make out of bacon. I love these suggestions, as I love all suggestions regarding new and different ways to use bacon. One I got today is this:

Frankly, I'm not sure how to pull this off in a way that creates a functioning bacon mask. But if I do figure it out, you folks will be the first to know. I also recently received this:

This is much simpler. In fact, I know exactly how I'm going to pull this off. Pictures soon.

NYC Mayor DeStasi seeking snitches

Apparently, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio has tweeted out a number where people can text to report people violating social distancing rules. He even invites people to send pictures. What could go wrong?

Well, for one thing, he apparently got a lot of pictures of him going to the gym after forbidding the rest of the city to do so and similar "laws for thee, not for me" kind of pictures. Kind of makes me feel a haiku coming on:

NYC Mayor
Wants social distance snitches
Fuck deBlasio

Now where have I heard about governments actively encouraging citizens to rat on their neighbors? Can't quite place it. Oh, well, it'll come to me.

Hat tip to Twitchy.

Just to be clear -- I live 50 miles from Taneytown

All I'm saying is, it wasn't me:

The Taneytown Police Department posted a reminder to its Facebook page that appears to be specifically aimed at an unnamed resident.
The post serves as a reminder that despite the COVID-19 pandemic, some dress code rules remain in effect.
"Please remember to put pants on before leaving the house to check your mailbox. You know who you are. This is your final warning," the post states.

 I'm not saying I always wear pants when I go to the mailbox. I'm just saying this wasn't me.

No wonder they call her Gov. Half-Whitmer

The governor of Michigan, already under fire for a number of her corona virus-related actions, apparently thinks that abortion is "life-sustaining:"

Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer said abortion is a “life-sustaining” health care procedure that must remain available during the coronavirus pandemic.
The Democratic governor spoke about the importance of abortion services during David Axelrod’s “The Axe Files” podcast Wednesday.

My question, of course, is: life-sustaining for whom? Certainly not the child being aborted. There are a lot of arguments in favor of abortion -- no good ones, in my opinion -- but "life-sustaining" is not one of them. This, of course, is from the woman who thinks it is OK to operate unpowered boats during the shutdown, but not motorboats. She has shut down any number of constitutional rights in response to the corona virus, but not this "life-sustaining" one. Me, I'm a sailboat kind of guy anyway, but I would hesitate to call abortion a life-sustaining procedure, given that almost no abortions are performed to protect the life of the mother and that all abortions result in a death. Just sayin'.

I think the people behind the Biden campaign need to reconsider

On MSNBC today, presumptive Democrat presidential nominee gave an interview about some poor father he talked to on the phone about his bout with corona virus. At least I think that is what he was talking about. Joe is not very coherent these days. Check it out. Maybe I am judging too harshly, but judge for yourself. Anyway, politics aside, how could anyone suggest that Joe is fit to be president? He doesn't even make sense anymore. There are innumerable examples that demonstrate that Joe Biden, never the brightest bulb in the chandelier, at 78 has clearly visible problems with coherency. This guy should be president? Hate Trump all you want, I don't think even Democrats want Biden to be the nominee at this point. Rejecting the socialist is not the same thing as embracing the guy going senile. Why does his family continue to allow him to do something he clearly is no longer up to doing?

This is hilarious

Weird Al gave us "My Bologna" with just an accordion recording in a Cal Poly Tech bathroom in 1979. Now we have Chris Mann, a singer of many talents but not that much fame, giving us "My Corona." It's brilliant:




 He can't resist a poke at Trump, of course. It's Hollywood, Jake. Forget about it.

Unemployment haikus number whatever

Yeah, I lost count. Surprised?

I'm sitting at home
Freelance writing and drinking
Which do I like more?

Freelancing pays cash
Drinking makes me forget that
I don't have any.

OK, so I wrote two.

OK, this is bad news

I mean, my immune system must be for shit right about now.

What is wrong with the United Kingdom?

Once upon a time, the U.K. was in the top five for sources of visitors to this blog, and for years, Canada wouldn't visit at all. Naturally, after a massive shaming campaign on my part, Canada stepped up and now is ninth all-time in visitors to Eff You. Sweden is number ten and hasn't been by in I don't know how long. For some reason, even though I am certain that the United Kingdom has more people than Canada or Sweden -- and probably more than the two combined -- the U.K seems unable to pass those two and enter the Top 10, where a country like the United Kingdom clearly belongs. Sure, I'd like Monaco, San Marino, Vatican City, and Lichtenstein to drop by -- hint, hint -- but I really feel like the United Kingdom needs to step up its game. Come on, folks, you guys are all shut up at home. Log on, come by. We've got an Eff You welcome waiting for you.

"Don't trust China. China is asshole."

Never forget that. So nice to have a video to remind us:


China would lie about whether it is raining and call you racist if you point out the cloud-free sky. I wonder where they learned about playing the race card? Hmmmmm.

A football history haiku

The Packers have been pretty good for a long time, but most folks acknowledge the 1960s as the some of the glory years of a franchise with a history of glory years -- and NFL-record 13 championships. Five of those came in the 1960s. The death today of Hall of Fame defensive end Willie Davis, a key member of all five of those teams, led me to this haiku:

Willie Davis gone.
How many from glory years
Are still remaining?

I know many of the members of those teams have passed. I'm afraid to look up how many -- or few, really -- of my childhood heroes are still with us.

Willie Davis, RIP

Willie Davis, a Hall of Fame defensive end for the Green Bay Packers and a star on all five of Coach Vince Lombardi's championship teams in the 1960s, died today in a hospital in Santa Monica, Calif. He was 85.

Willie Davis was one of the heroes of my childhood. He played before the league kept statistics on stats, but he is believed to have had between 100 and 140, which is pretty damn respectable. He had five total in Super Bowls I and II. This is Davis (87), on the left, in Super Bowl I helping in a takedown of Chiefs' quarter back Len Dawson

Davis played 10 years for the Packers (two for the Browns before that). His career, in and out of football, was illustrious:

• He was the first African-American team captain in Packers history, as a co-captain in 1965 and the sole defensive captain in 1966.
• He started at left defensive end for all five of Lombardi's NFL championship teams.
• He was names as one of only three defensive ends on the NFL 1960s All-Decade Team.
• He made the Pro Bowl five times, and was a five-time Associated Press All-Pro, as well.
• He played 138 games for the Packers over 10 seasons, ever mission a game. 
• He was inducted as a member of the Packers Hall of Fame in 1975. He was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1981.
• Davis was a member of the Packers' board of directors from 1994 to 2005.
• He was one of four candidates considered as the replacement for Pete Rozelle as NFL commissioner when Rozelle retired in 1989. Might have spared us from Roger Goodell if the NFL had been smarter and picked him.

Willie Davis was a great football player and by all accounts a very good man.  I used to have his football player card. Wish I still did. Rest in peace, Willie.

Another unemployment haiku

Yeah, the complete lack of work out there is a little depressing. But I am not depressed. I endeavor persevere.



Declaring war on the Union sounds good right about now, but I think I'll just write a haiku instead:

Jobless benefits
Came through on a debit card
That I don't have yet.

Yeah, life's a bitch sometimes.

Myanmar finally drops by

Not sure how I feel about this one, as Myanmar -- formerly Burma -- is not what you want to call one of the most freedom-oriented countries in the world. Still, this is a first visit, so we will put on a happy face to the extent possible.

Officially known as the Republic of the Union of Myanmar, the country is in Southeast Asia, bordered by India and Bangladesh to the west, Thailand and Laos to the east, and China to the north. It is the largest country in Southeast Asia, without about  more than a quarter-million square miles and 1,200 miles of coastland along the Bay of Bengal and the Andaman Sea. About 54 million people live there, with a significant chunk of those living in the country's largest city, Yangon (formerly known as Rangoon.) The capital is Paypyidaw. The country was known as Burma until 1989, when the military government chucked the colonial pronunciations of many place names, including the name of the country. When taking office in 1016, current President Aung San Suu Kyi announced that foreigners could call the country Burma if they like. A lot of people in Myanmar/Burma were calling it Burma anyway, as the military government was not exactly regarded as having come to power legitimately.

The country has some  interesting sights and beautiful countryside:

I like old stuff:

So thanks for coming by, Myanmar/Burma! Welcome to Eff You Nation. Come back soon, and bring your friends.

In the field of opportunity . . .

it's plowing time again, again.

Yup, been down on The Farm, working my butt off for the last couple months now. For the uninitiated, I grow vegetables with a friend of mine who lives on about 5 acres. Years ago, we were near-neighbors, when I lived down the road just a bit on six acres. I grew a bunch of stuff and used to jar much of it. I shared jarred and fresh vegetables with Farmer Tom's family, as we had sons who were close friends.  When I was, um, displaced to a smaller home, without the land to grow stuff, Farmer Tom brought me in for expertise and manual labor, and we're been growing stuff together for years. He's the carpenter, I'm the grunt and gardener.

Anyway, we started in late January, building new bed boxes. We had eight last season, but five had to be replaced. We actually built six new boxes, so we are bigger and better than ever. When we started, we tore out the rotted boxes and were left with only the two boxes at top center, plus the asparagus box, which is out of the picture. The unpainted boxes -- six of them, although it is not all of them are in yet in this picture -- are some of the new ones.

We got all the new ones put in eventually.

Then we started filling them with dirt. That's a lot of dirt, people.

Here's a view of all eight dirt-filled boxes, plus the asparagus bed in the background to the right of Farmer Tom's tractor.

A closer shot of the boxes to the right (south):

Last week, Farmer Tom was building the trellis from which to suspend our irrigation system:

That stuff's all done now:

I rented a tiller to expand our squash/zucchini bed, which is ground level. It started out kind of small:

Wound up about twice the size:

If you have never operated a five-horsepower tiller that is not self-propelled, I really don't recommend it. I also tilled a bed for onions. Here it is, with the fence posts that we put in today. Onions are already in:

Got the fencing up. That's Jeb the Wonder Dog in the background.

We've got a bunch of stuff in already. These are beets:

Same stuff, different angle:

We have peas, spinach, swiss chard, onions, and garlic in the ground. The garlic is in the small beds to the right of the big beds. Asparagus is starting to come up, as are the beets (obviously). Tomatoes are likely to go in soon. Beans are a few weeks off, as are peppers (hot and bell) as well as squash and zucchini. As the cold-weather crops age out, we'll put other stuff in. Not sure what yet. Come August, we'll start putting in the fall crops -- broccoli, maybe brussels sprouts. Stay tuned. Like the title of the post says . . .

So what happened with the sharks?

Back in February, when I wasn't posting much but still hoped to, I saved this story about great white sharks gathering near the North Carolina-South Carolina line:

The clustering of great white sharks off the Carolinas coast is growing more pronounced and mysterious, based on satellite tracking data shared Saturday on social media.
Eight tagged great white sharks are now practically on top of each other along the border of North and South Carolina — and they represent the only sharks currently tracking along the East Coast, according to a map posted on Facebook by OCEARCH.

So my question is, what happened? I didn't read any stories about the massive attack by great whites on swimmers off Calabash, N.C. I also didn't read any stories about the massive attack by great whites on swimmers off Myrtle Beach or Murrells Inlet, S.C. So what gives?

Yeah, might just be the usual hype about sharks. According to the Charleston, S.C., paper in March:

 As far as the recent “massing” of them: The half-dozen or so pings have sounded over a period of more than a month and across a stretch of several hundred miles of ocean and as far as 50 miles out to sea. The closest ping to the South Carolina coast, on Feb. 8, was 3 miles offshore of Garden City, according to Ocearch, the nonprofit organization tracking sharks with GPS transmitters.

I guess the production of "Jaws 5: Southern Vacation Boogaloo" is on hold.

Happy Easter

I hope this Easter finds all of you safe and well. Stay away from the Wuhan virus. We can't all count on coming back.

Happy Easter.

Thank God for the New York Times: Joe Biden has no history of inappropriate behavior toward women, except when he does

Really kind of unbelievable, except it is what we have come to expect from the New York Times.

Joe Biden is currently facing allegations of sexual assault by a former Senate aide, Tara Reade, who filed a police report against him for allegedly assaulting her in 1993. Following weeks of inattention to the situation, The New York Times has finally reported on the claims, going to bat for the former Vice President and dismissing Reade’s claims.

They have resisted reporting on the former aide's claims until now, when they dismiss the idea that he has any history of inappropriate behavior toward women. Except for, you know, the history he has of inappropriate behavior toward women:

I guess this doesn't count:



I do believe that could have gone on much longer.

It's not like this is the first time anyone has suggested Biden has a behavior problem with women. Including the New York Times:

Biden has also been criticized for commenting on the sexual appearance of young girls and women on the 2020 campaign trail. Biden’s defenders claim that he is a relic of a different age and hold him to a much lower standard than any other public figure.
The New York Times’ coverage of the Tara Reade allegation also contradicts a previous investigation by the newspaper. In a 2019 article, the paper wrote that “Biden’s Tactile Politics Threaten his Return in the #MeToo era.”

OK, fine, he's a relic. He also appears to be creeping into senility. He can't even complete a sentence coherently anymore. Relic or not, you want him to be president? Joe Biden, who gets creepy with women on camera, is fine. Brett Kavanaugh, facing  an accusation of inappropriate behavior from high school, unsupported by anyone besides the accuser, was clearly a rapist and should not be on the Supreme Court. Please.

Media gets completely embarrassed by spoof sports site

Seriously, you fell for a tweet by somebody calling himself Dr. McCockiner? Even a team as poorly run as the Jets wouldn't give $9 million to somebody who's been out of football for three years. And who was fucking up when he left football, on the field and off. Please.

Go to the link. It's hilarious.

Brazil, come on down!

Brazil is actually not a first-time visitor -- not even close, really -- but someone in Brazil just came by this week and Brazil has never gotten first-time visitor treatment. That means, YO, BRAZIL, come on down!

Sure, this is cheating, but I also don't want to cheat Brazil out of its due. So here we go:

The country is officially the Federative Republic of Brazil. It is the largest country in South America and, sizewise, could eat all of Central America for lunch and still be hungry. The country covers more than 3.2 million square mils and has a population of 211 million, making it the world's fifth-largest country by area and sixth-largest by population. The capital is Brasilia, its most populous city is Sao Paulo, and the only damn place in the country anybody cares about is Rio because that's where Carnivale is at its biggest. Maybe I'm wrong. Could be New Orleans, but they call it Mardi Gras there.

The country is bounded by the Atlantic on the east, with a coastline of more than 4,600 miles, and borders every country in South America except Ecuador and Chile. The country was discovered by Europeans -- the many tribal nations already there might quibble with the term "discovered" -- by Pedro Alvares Cabral, who claim the land for Portugal, which led to Brazil becoming the largest Portuguese-speaking country in the world, largely on account of Portugal is really fucking small. The Portuguese colony became independent in 1822. It went through a lot of political formulations before becoming a democratic federal republic in 1988 under its current constitution, adopted in that year.

Anyway, Brazil has the Amazon basin and a lot of beautiful countryside, but it ain't all fish and chips. They have serious environmental and poverty issues. But it looks good:

So who am I to say? Welcome to the Eff You family, Brazil. Glad you finally got your official welcome. Come back soon, and bring your friends.

At last, I triumph over the machine

My job -- the glorious, high-paying job that has kept me away from the blog for so long -- ended last week. A week ago today, in fact. This morning, finally, seven days after the end of that job, seven days of trying by phone and online to file for unemployment, I finally succeeded. One of the guys who was on the gig with me finally got through yesterday by staying on hold for four hours. Seemed like a bit too much for me, since the jammed phone lines kept making my call drop after about 15 minutes. So I devised a strategy. I called before the office opened, spent about 10 minutes punching numbers in response to their before-we-transfer-you-to-a-representative questions, by which time they were open, and I instantly got a representative, who quickly took most of the same information I had just entered and BOOM! My claim was filed. I have not patented or trademarked this method. Feel free to use it yourself if you are trying to get through to the overwhelmed D.C. unemployment office. No need to thank me.

This reminds me of a haiku I never wrote. It goes like this:

Unemployment claim
Can't get through jammed lines, website
But still triumphant.

Or maybe like this:

Corona virus
Can't stop me from filing my
Unemployment claim.

I refuse to let this go

I've done nothing for Sweden -- nothing! And I never understood why Sweden was the early leader in visitors to this blog, even over the United States. It never made any sense to me, and it didn't last. I started mentioning porn a lot -- without actually having any, except food porn -- and pretty soon Russia and Ukraine easily passed Sweden. But the United Kingdom used to be right up there with Sweden, and they dropped out of sight. Sweden hasn't had a visitor in I don't know how long, and the U.K. puts up new visitors every week, just about. I want to see a U.K. surge. Pass those Swedes! They've done nothing for Eff You in I don't know how long! Rule Britannia! Or something like that. I just want to see some change in my Top 10 visitors.

My European Correspondent Visits Belgrade

As most of you know, I have a European correspondent who occasionally provides me with posts. Not often, alas, because he has something much closer to a real life than do I. In any event, he provided me with this  -- sadly, it was at the end of October 2019 and I am only now getting around to posting it -- so here is a quick travelogue of my European correspondent's trip to Belgrade, Serbia. As you can see, he an I both are suckers for historical stuff, especially military:

I’ve just spent a few days in Belgrade, Serbia with an old friend. It is a fascinating place! It’s an odd mix of old, run-down, soviet-style crap, and the modern, western world. We got here by plane, and right off the flight we were met with the usual depressing, grey, concrete-heavy communist architecture we all know and love.

We had no idea what to expect there, as we went on this trip on a whim and didn’t do any research from home. We rented an apartment in the city centre, and spent 5 days just walking around town. There are plenty of cafés and restaurants everywhere. The food and drink is very cheap. The local food was quite good - we had no idea what we were ordering, but we never never disappointed. The local beer is rather bland, at least if you drink the big brands. There are some very good local craft beer to be had, if you look around. There are small, local fastfood shops open all night. Serbian hotdogs are quite good, and very cheap.

There is not much to do here, which is fine. We were perfectly happy to sit at a cafe and do some people watching.

Serbian women are gorgeous! One can spend hours and hours, drinking beer at a café, watching hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful Serbian women walk past.
Balkan being what it is, I expected a lot of gypsies here. I did not see many, which was nice. To those of you who have not met gypsies, and might be offended by me saying that I dislike gypsies, then please go and visit a gypsy camp. You will be cured of your politically correct notions "toot sweet”. They are a parasitic people; their survival is utterly dependent on a host.

I walked around all over town in the middle of the night, alone, and I felt perfectly safe.
Most people speak English, at least the younger generations. Everyone we spoke to was very friendly and helpful. We got by very easily. There are some tourists here, but not many. There was a sudden influx of dumb, loud, obnoxious British soccer fans, but they left shortly after the game.

There is quite a bit of smog over the city. There is a lot of diesel fumes in the streets. Just avoid the larger streets, stay on or near the walking streets in the center, and it will not be much of a problem.

Traffic in Belgrade is fascinating to watch. Drivers spend a lot of time honking their horns. There are traffic jams everywhere. Drivers will enter an intersection, even though it is obvious that they will not make it across before the light turns red. They’ll be stuck in the intersection, and drivers from other directions will also enter the intersection, even though it is currently occupied by stalled traffic. And everyone is honking their horns.
We friend and I are certainly coming back to Serbia. Next time, we will rent a car and go see other parts of the country.

Here are a few pics:

Communist architecture is the same all over the world.

Old cars:

My friend had one of these once. It’s a Lada Niva.

Food and drink:

A really good craft beer, served in “Stanica” bar.

The old fort in Belgrad:

Old weapons on display. 

Miscellaneous:

Dozens of “immigrants” from the middle east, on their way to the northern Europe. 

This park seemed to be the home of lots of young middle eastern men.They would sit here all day, doing nothing.

A gypsymoblle!

I've never been to Eastern Europe. Thought this was quite interesting.