Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug in his living room. The bear isn't dead, it's just afraid to move.

In an obvious -- and brilliant -- response to the Jean Claude van Damme Volvo commercial, Chuck Norris sends out a Christmas message that is equally brilliant, more bad-ass, honors the military and, alas, is not real.



Of course, if you haven't seen the JCVD Volvo commercial, here it is:

Can't lie, that's pretty good. And it has the added benefit of being actually real. Still, given the Chuck Norris legend, that's a pretty good smack-down.