I think I missed my chance to get rich

Somewhere, in the offices of a major manufacturer of eyewear -- glasses, people, the kind that help you see better, not the kind that you drink out of -- there is a guy in the marketing department laughing his ass off. He also is cashing major bonus checks.

Why? Because somebody, somewhere decided it would be a great idea to market black frame glasses as cool, and because the urban hipsters were stupid enough to jump on that bandwagon in a big way. Hell, I see a bazillion people every day wearing the black frame glasses -- we're talking about the 18-35 demographic here -- because they think they have to to be cool. Hell, I'll bet half the black-frame glasses out there aren't prescription -- they're just clear lenses so the wearer will look hip.

The irony here, of course, is that for decades the military-issue glasses for anyone who needed vision correction were, of course, nice, sturdy black frame glasses. Folks in the military referred to these glasses as "government issue birth control." Think the hipsters know that?

I knew Whole Foods was for dicks

My (very) few forays to Whole Foods stores have convinced me that the clientele there is perhaps the most sanctimonious, self-important and all-around despicable bunch of grocery shoppers on the face of the planet. Finally, somebody confirms that for me:

The problem with Whole Foods is their regular customers. They are, across the board, across the country, useless, ignorant, and miserable. They’re worse than miserable, they’re angry. They are quite literally the opposite of every Whole Foods employee I’ve ever encountered. Walk through any store any time of day—but especially 530pm on a weekday or Saturday afternoon during football season—and invariably you will encounter a sneering, disdainful horde of hipster Zombies and entitled 1%ers.

The author goes on to describe an encounter with the biggest grocery-dick I've ever heard of. It's worth reading the entire thing. It punctures big holes in the urban hipsters' image of themselves. Alas, they will not recognize themselves.