Rules to live by

Today featured LOTS of down time as we transition to the next phase of the project (basically some mop-up work, the last couple twitches of the swordfish's tail). They -- do we all understand now that when I say "They," I am referring to some kind of amorphous combination of the folks from the temp agency that are running the project and the lawyers from the client firm that think they are running the project? Good -- would post a bunch of batches of documents to be reviewed (all of this is done online) and then, five minutes later, come running around telling us everything was all fucked up and stop reviewing the batches so They could fix things. This happened three times today -- the fourth time the batches were actually ready, and we actually started reviewing documents. By then it was quite late in the day, so the CAs had plenty of time to pass.

Naturally, they did so in typical temp fashion. I heard yet another temp lament that she really needed to write a script about TempTown, "but I can't." Her fingers didn't look broken, so I'm not sure why she thinks she can't, but I believe this was explained in this blog's inaugural post. Look it up.

But the temps also began discussing the need for a Temp Handbook, based on some Deep Space Nine thing called "The Rules of Acquisition" by the Serengeti or whoever (sorry, not a Trek nerd). The feeling was strong that "someone" should put together a set of rules for CAs to live by. Suggestions were made, and, knowing that no one else would do anything about it,  I present some of them here:

Click slow, work long.

Remember, They're lying.

Everyday is the last day of the project. Corollary: Don't leave money on the table -- They might not put more up there.

Get used to being treated like a particulary unreliable first-grader.

Remember, They're still lying.

There were others, and I probably will share them in the fullness of time, meaning when I feel like it.