A new document review haiku

Started a new gig last week after a very short gig that followed a gig that had a decent run but ended far earlier than expected. Get all that?

Anyway, the new gig is mostly folks I don't know, but a couple good people on it. The rest, meh. The room we're in is crowded and the air conditioning seems to be non-functional. It's hot as hell, and summer is coming. But our latest addition to the document review haiku pantheon is about what really matters:

I've got a new gig
Moderate overtime but
Fucking awesome rate.

Yeah, the gig finally started

So, what is supposed to be a high-overtime, short-duration job finally started yesterday. Yes, it was supposed to start last Monday. On the other hand, the other high-overtime, short-duration job that was supposed to last until this new gig started plotzed about a week early, which just reminds us of Rule No. 1: they're lying. Honestly, they often just don't know, but they feel like they can't tell you they don't know, so they're lying, but it often isn't malicious, but merely ignorant. On the other had, just as often, they really are lying, and it really is malicious, so Rule No. 1 still applies.

Anyway, we started the new project yesterday, and worked today, and I got to drive home in a mini-blizzard, so that was all fun. It looks like we'll get a couple weeks, maybe three, out of this, with good overtime. On the other hand, who knows? Anyone who does is lying to us about it.

I think I just heard the swordfish hit the deck

I've been thinking this was coming soon for more than a week now, as we have had long bouts with no documents for at least that long. Still, no cuts have been forthcoming. Got an indication today from a knowledgeable source that after tomorrow, a bunch of people are going to get the ax, maybe almost everybody. I wouldn't be surprised. Guess I better start working on finding a new gig.

Well, I guess I'm not unemployed anymore

It's not the greatest gig -- market rate or so, no overtime, only going to last about a month -- but it beats sitting at home for no money. Not crazy about having to go downtown today to interview at the firm itself -- not the agency, the firm -- but I guess that's the price you pay with a small firm that doesn't hire temps much. Apparently I clean up OK, because I got the job. On the other hand, I apparrently have to wear a suit everyday, which could get old, as I don't have a lot of suits I can still wear. It's been a while since I had to wear a suit daily, kids. Oh, well. It's work

Why do I never listen to myself?

Started a new gig today. Against my better judgment, I took a project at the firm with the whistling door. The door isn't whistling right now, but everything else remains the same. Shitty location (as far as access to affordable food, banks at which I do business and places I won't get mugged go), shitty hours (more on that later) and shitty subject matter. Usually, I don't care what the subject matter of a review is, but this particular subject matter is really eye-glazing. The irony, of course, is that I was chosen because I have multiple projects under my belt dealing with this subject matter, many of them at this firm. I have only myself to blame here.

I have a rule. Actually, I have many, but this is one of them: Don't take jobs at this firm. They are always shitty location, shitty hours and shitty subject matter. And yet I took the gig. Why, oh why? That, children, is a subject for another post.

They never fail to disappoint

Started a new gig today. Should be high hours, short duration. The most striking thing today, though, was the  phenomenal display of professionalism during orientation. When one of the people from the agency was handing out forms that needed to be filled out, she asked if anyone needed a pen. Fully half -- and maybe more -- of the people in the room raised their hands. Seriously? First day of a project, you can't bring a fucking pen? Hey, no way you would have to complete any forms, or take any notes, or anything, right? And temps wonder why the firms think we're idiots.

That about sums it up

Just got a text from a friend of mine who is a big wheel at one of the staffing agencies. He wrote: What basement are you in and for how long?

I could have been insulted. I could have been offended. I could have hit back at him for trivializing what I do, but who am I kidding? My life in nine words. So I texted back and told him. Maybe he's got a gig for me when this one ends, right?

New gig

The Pizza of Impending Doom kind of lacked any real punch this time, since we got rolled over to another project starting the next day. Boring project, but lots of hours, which is still kind of weird these days. Hard to get more than a 40-hour week anymore.  Anyway, this is the project my buddy emailed me about. When he found out I would be coming over on Tuesday, he let me know that I could look forward to a dude who is constantly IM'ing and a loud sleeper in addtion to internet chess boy.

Sure enough, the IM'er is at it, with great vigor and much enthusiasm. He types like the keyboard is the chick who stood him up for prom. Plus I've seen him before -- his nickname is "Plugs." Think about it.

Jesus loves me?

The same firm that just boned me apparently feels bad about it and wants me to come back Monday for a different project. OK, there's no fucking way they feel bad about it. There are a couple possible explanations: 1) They think I am magnificent and don't want to let me go (this is totally understandable and innumerable women have felt the same way); 2) they feel bad about fucking me (about as likely as a Buddy Holly and the Crickets reunion tour) or; 3) they needed a warm body and I happened to be standing there when the need arose (Vanna, tell the people what they've won).