Only a temp could dress well and still look like a homeless person

Temps aren't famous for being sharp dressers, but it happens. Normally, when it comes to temps, you can play a game on the Metro: when you see a rumpled, dissheveled person with unruly hair, you can play the guessing game, "Homeless, Temp or Federal Employee?" Hard to tell the difference.

Anyway, we have a dude on the project I call Santa Claus, mostly because he is rotund and has long, snow-white hair and a bushy white beard. Dude probably makes serious coin at Christmas working at some mall. But it would have to be a pretty downscale mall, because he is unable to shake that Temp vibe. No matter what he wears, he looks like a homeless dude.

Today, Santa Claus was wearing what is known (in the South, anyway, and more particularly in South Carolina) as a Charleston Tuxedo. The Charleston Tuxedo consists of khaki pants and a blue sports jacket with a button-down Oxford shirt. It is considered, in Charleston, at least, to be appropriate attire for everything from weddings to funerals. In general, it works.

Well, Santa Claus put on the Charleston Tuxedo today and it didn't work. I couldn't tell you what exactly didn't work, but the dude still looked like he either slept in or ate out of  a dumpster -- he just looked homeless.

At least he's trying, though, which is more than can be said of the guy I like to call Hunter S. Thompson, who always looks like he is coming off a bender, starting a bender or maybe is in the middle of a bender. Anyway, he is tall, gangly, gray curly hair and likes to wear shorts, the dress code notwithstanding. Unlike Santa Claus, Hunter is not even trying to dress well. You look at him and think "Venice Beach homeless dude." You can easily see him sleeping in a lifeguard stand by night and by day charging people to look after their car when they park in "his" parking space. Not happening in DC, I guess, but that's the look he's cultivating. Or maybe he just moved here from Venice Beach.

The more I think about it, the more I think these two guys could pair up to be the next Moby and the Hobo. The great irony here is that Moby and the Hobo first appeared on this blog during a project involving the same client and law firms as this project, but I never actually named them that until later. I do think that Moby and the Hoboes is a great name for a band, though.

Any way, in honor of the sharp-dressed men on this project, I give you this:

They've extended the project, it must be Tuesday

When we started this project at the beginning of July, we were told it would last 2-4 weeks, or 4-6 weeks, depending on who you were. Four weeks seemed to be the concensus, though. Those four weeks passed 8 weeks ago. For the last two months, we've been getting extensions one week at a time. In an industry where it already is quite challenging to make any kind of strategic plan, since you really don't know what will happen from one month to the next, reducing that uncertainty to week to week makes it even worse. Pretty much 8 Tuesdays in a row, we've gotten an email or, sometimes, a live visit from the associate letting us know that they have work for us the next week if we are available. Nice to have work, but one-week planning sucks my butt. Fucking carnies working the county fair circuit have more predictability in their lives than we do on this project.

Want to make it worse? The market has exploded, and there are projects everywhere. Agencies are scrambling all of a sudden because there are way more projects than there are temps to staff them. Pay rates are creeping up because of the staffing shortages, and anybody who wants work can find it. I have no doubt that the Garden Gnome, the Bridge Troll and Tall Skinny Dude have all found work.  Moby and the Hobo probably have found work, too. Things are hopping. The need for warm bodies trumps incompetence, every time.

In light of all this, what to do? Having stayed long past the original time projections of the project, it is considered by many temps to be legitimate to bail. Agencies, as you might imagine, have a different view and think you should ride the Titanic down into the icy depths. Obviously, it's time to lie. Sticking with a dying project just long enough to miss other projects is not a viable business model. One of our number already has bailed. It will be interesting to see how this plays out. Frankly, my mother is looking poorly.