Temps deserve their reputation

Just got an email from a buddy of mine who apparently is working on Sundays, so good for him. Unfortunately for him, it's not all positive. The email reads, in its entirety:

Why do temps floss  at their table?  That should be banned by every agency. A guy is doing it now. It is disgusting.

I have no comment, because words fail me.

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I'm sure it's them, not you

So, the woman who sits across from me, about whom I was warned, has proven to be every bit the joy I was led to believe. Maybe I'm being petty, but this woman is living down to my every expectation. She talks A LOT and says nothing, but she does so at full volume. No inside voice here -- this woman sounds like Foghorn Leghorn, only dumber.  She seems to be determined to see how many times a day she can kick me under the table "accidentally" -- I was surprised to learn her legs were long enough to reach me -- and she just, in general, makes me pray daily for this project to end. I am thinking that, as a veteran temp, she looks a lot better on paper than in person.

Oddly enough, she gave me confirmation the other day that I am not the only person upon whom she has this effect (good grammar, bitches -- live with it). She apparently feels deserving of more lofty, dare I say permanent, employment, and is baffled by her lack of success, stating

I've had like 15 interviews over the last few years, but none of them were callbacks. They were all first interviews.

Go figure.

New tag

By the way,  I just introduced a new tag that I can't believe I haven't used from Day One: "temps who need killing." Wow. It's so "one size fits all," I can't believe I never trotted it out before.

Where is the line between petty and important?

I think it is important to draw a line between petty complaints and important ones. The woman who sits across from me, about whom I have already been warned, is driving me crazy in ways that are both important and petty. First, she's a moron, but she has been keeping that largely to herself and has stopped asking moronic questions. This is good, and indicates that she can at least be aware of when she is being a moron.

However, she has a number of personal quirks, shall we say, that make her irritating to work next to. The first is petty, and I freely admit that. Headphones and music generally negate this particular problem, but that doesn't make it less irritating. She's a grunter. Not like a pig, but more like someone lifting weights, but someone who is not lifting really fucking heavy weights. She apparently breathes -- FUCKING ALWAYS -- by drawing in a breath, holding it, and then letting it out with a very audible exhale. Kind of like she's taking a shit that doesn't want to come out and she holds her breath until after the push. Sorry, but that's what it sounds like. Petty, I know, but you sit next to that all fucking day and tell me how you like it.

The other thing that bothers me at this point, other than her monumental stupidity, is here apparent lack of awareness of where she is. She is clearly a veteran temp. (She also is clearly the sort of temp that made Temp Town a place no one wanted to be. More on that later.) That means she knows that you don't take phone calls at your desk. Even if she weren't a veteran temp, we were told explicitly -- as we always are at the beginning of every project -- that cell phones are to be put on silent ring and that all calls are to be taken outside of the work area.

This sack is oh-for-two. Her phone rings loud as Judgment Day, and she takes the call without budging. Same for outgoing calls -- like she's in a fucking phone booth. I'm not a big rules guy, but I actually believe some rules make sense. This is one of them. No fucking phone calls in the workspace. And yet, I know that if I say anything to her, I will be the one who is the subject of a complaint to the agency. Pisses me off -- I would much rather tell her that I will shove the phone up her ass if she makes one more call at her desk, but instead I have to take the victim role and complain to the agency. Whatever happened to personal responsibility?

Don't get me wrong. As soon as I finish this post, I'm sending an email to the agency. But I think we all know that, instead of her getting an email telling her to knock it off, the agency will send an email to everyone saying, "Please don't use your cell phones at your desk." This sack will never think it's directed at her, she'll keep doing it, and at some point I will have to kill her. Just sayin'.