Game food porn, with sadness

Yes, the hated ViQueens won. Yes, Future Wolves, toting Wolves: The Next Generation with her, gloated. It was an altogether miserable game experience. Of course, it didn't start out that way:

Exuberance was soon muted, though. Fortunately, the food was good. At Minnesota Wolves' request, we had deviled eggs:

Yes, he got to them before I managed to take a picture. We also had, also at Minnesota Wolves' request, pigs in a blanket:

Future Wolves wanted brats, and she got brats -- boiled in beer, as all proper brats are, before grilling:

We tossed in some stuffed skins, as Future Wolves had never had stuffed potato skins. How she avoided eating at TGI Fridays all those years in Minnesota is beyond me. Of course, my skins are better. Now she has had stuffed skins:

The only thing lacking was a Packers' victory. I guess we'll see how they do against the Redskins.

Sweet, sweet victory game food porn

It was not a pretty victory in many respects, but it was a victory nonetheless, as the Packers beat the Raiders 30-20 on the Raiders' home field. The defense won the game with two early interceptions, including a pick-six, that gave the Packers a 14-0 lead. We'll take it.

So what did we have to go with that victory? As a dinner-time game, we had to adapt, making sure the game food  could serve as dinner, as well. To open the game, we had some stuffed skins:

They're always good. At half-time, had to put out some dinner-like food, so we went with sliders, Velveeta potato bites and baked beans:

Those of you hoping to make sliders should go here. Of course, the potato bites can be made from the instructions here. Combine good food with the win and we have, well, a pretty good weekend afternoon. The Packers clinched a playoff spot. We'll see how that goes.

I got game food porn in three parts; Part I

Yes, we saw an epic collapse in the last few minutes of last night's NFC championship game. It was inexcusable. I damn near killed myself. Had they presented themselves, I probably would have killed some random strangers. Fortunately for everyone, none of that happened. But the Packers did, in fact, lose a game they should have won. It was horrible.

The game food wasn't, though. Actually, the game food was excellent. Nephew to Wolves and his girlfriend, Knows Fuck-All About Wolves, were in attendance, so in honor of her vegetarianism, we had several veggie-friendly dishes, including a veggie tray:

We also had caramel dip and apples, also veggie friendly but on the menu mainly because of the presence of Marrying Into Wolves:

Instead of bacon-cheeseburger macaroni and cheese I fixed a vegetarian friendly mac and cheese (the recipe and instructions will follow this post):

Did some fondue, too:

Finally, meat makes an appearance in the form of brown sugar bacon dogs:

Back to meat free, I did some cheese-stuffed potato bites (recipe will follow in a later post):

Of course, we had stuffed potato skins:

Yes, we had veggie versions, too. At one point, the table looked like this:

Cpl. Wolves and Marrying Into Wolves both enjoyed the game food, although I think Cpl. Wolves enjoyed Marrying Into Wolves more:

Oh, yeah. For desert, we had bacon-wrapped doughnuts:

Those are really good. Game sucked (at least at the end). Game food didn't.

Win-the-damn-division game food porn

Yeah, there were a few tense moments when Aaron Rodgers went down hurt, and again when that asshole Ncan'tspellmyfirstname Suh stomped on Rodgers' injured calf, but we put the Lions in their place and ensured that they will have to try again next year to win in Wisconsin for the first time since 1991. I would feel sorry for them, but Lions fans are used to disappointment. Anyway, we won, they lost, we got the division title (for the fourth straight time), the first-round bye and the game food was pretty good.

It was dinner-ish game food, although maybe a little veggie-light. We started with apples and caramel dip, the new favorite of Marrying into Wolves:

I also boiled some peanuts for a true Southern delicacy. For those of you who have never tried them (or made them), I promise to do a step-by-step later in the playoffs. For now, this:

By the way, along with the autographed Aaron Rodgers photo, Cpl. Wolves gave me a new Packers apron he assumed was too damn gay for me to wear. He was wrong:

Naturally, we had stuffed potato skins:

We did baked beans (not made-from-scratch this time):

Because they go so well with hot dogs:

And because they also go so well with ribs:

So, yeah, the only green vegetable was the relish on the hot dogs and the green onions on the skins. Live with it, and revel in the pork products. Game food will be on hiatus next week while we enjoy the bye and hope Aaron is a quick healer.

Into-the-playoffs game food porn

Worst-case scenario, the Packers are in as a wild-card playoff team. If they win next week, they will be at worst the No. 2 seed. Depending upon the outcome of tonight's Cardinals-Seahawks game, they could be the No. 1 seed and have home field advantage throughout the playoffs. But we're in the playoffs, so what really matters here? Game food porn! Fortunately for you, we have plenty of it.

Today, we introduced a dish I call bacon bakers: bacon-wrapped potatoes. Start with small potatoes -- and I mean bite-sized small. Roll them in olive oil and sprinkle them with house seasoning. To make house seasoning, mix a cup of salt, 1/4 cup of onion powder, 1/4 cup of garlic powder and 1/4 cup of black pepper -- bake and BOOM! Excellence on a plate.

So, anyway, start with about a dozen-and-a-half very small potatoes, roll them in olive oil and dust with house seasoning:

 

Lay those suckers out in a baking pan of some sort:

Wrap each potato in a half-strip of bacon (do I have to draw a picture? Cut the bacon in half.) and secure the bacon with a toothpick:

Should look something like this when you'r done:

Bake that sucker at 400 for about 50 minutes, until the bacon is crispy and the potatoes are soft and fluffy. Serve hot (and take your picture quickly, because people will scarf these up and you'll get a picture like this, with damn few potatoes in it):

We had other stuff, too. We put out the sliced apples and caramel dip:

Also fired up some pigs in a blanket:

Naturally, we had skins:

And, because we time-shifted the game and recorded it so Marrying into Wolves could watch after work, the game food was dinner and, what is dinner without a vegetable? We tossed in a simple veggie plate:

All in all, pretty good game food combined with a playoff-clinching win. Bring on the Lions!

We have some very sad-faced game food porn

We time-shifted yesterday, recording the game so Marrying Into Wolves could see it, so game food bled into dinner. Dinner was brats and other stuff, and I didn't bother with pictures of that. The game food, which was excellent, was much better than the game, which was not. Sloppy play by the Packers offense led to defeat at the hands of the Bills, who have a legitimate defense but no offense to speak of. But we will not speak of this. Next week, the march to the playoffs resumes. In the meantime, yesterday we started with something new -- apple slices and caramel dip:

Yeah, I cheated and bought caramel dip. You think I'm going to try and make that shit? We also had onion straws with dip, which I did make:

Of course we had skins -- we always have skins:

We topped it off with dirty diapers. Man, I love those things:

Later we had tear-soaked brats and sides. Well, my brat was tear-soaked. The rest were just boiled in beer and then grilled.

Sweet, sweet victory game food porn

Sorry for all you Patriots fans out there, but the Packers got it done. Argue this, argue that, when the final score was tallied, the Patriots fell short. Works for me.

So did the game food. We got it done, one dish at a time. First, because Marrying Into Wolves was here first, we did the veggie tray:

Next out were the skins, of course:

Once Cpl. Wolves got home, it was time to get dinner-like. So, in short order, we trotted out some onion straws and dip:

Some bacon cheeseburger  macaroni and cheese:

and some shaved steak sliders. Shaved beef, provolone cheese, served on a dinner roll. Mmmmmm:

All in all, can't complain.

I would be remiss if I did not post some Thanksgiving food porn

And heaven knows I don't want to be remiss. Naturally, then, I am bringing you an (incomplete) Thanksgiving food porn post. Naturally, I am hoping that pr0n posts will help shake the blog out of its holiday traffic slump. It's not horrific, but it is enough to make me use words like porn, fuck and pr0n in hopes of duping the perverts out there. Anyway, we debuted a new dish this year, a green bean casserole. It started with green beans, of course. You can use canned, frozen, or fresh -- three 14.5 oz. cans, 3 14.5 oz. packages or about 2-1/2 pounds of fresh beans. I went with canned, for convenience:

Anyway, you put the green beans in a casserole dish, chop up a half-pound of bacon and spread it on top. The recipe called for a full pound, but that seemed like overkill:

Spread the chopped bacon over the beans:

Take a half cup of brown sugar and spread it over the bacon:

Then take a stick of butter, melt it and pour that over the whole shooting match:

At some point, you're going to bake that at 350 for 45 minutes, but that will be much later, because is about 9 am on Thanksgiving at this point and you are sticking that sucker in the fridge while you fix other dishes. Some of the those dishes include cooking bacon, which means the emergency backup auxiliary dog will be waiting for some cooked bacon to hit the floor. Toss her some. Reward her patience:

Then fix some stuffed potato skins to put out as a snack during the early football games so people won't starve waiting for dinner:

Some of my work was done Wednesday night, when I made the bread. It must have been OK, because half of one loaf didn't even make it to dinner time:

I also made some pies the night before -- two pumpkin, one apple:

They were pretty freaking good. Once dinner time arrived, I pulled a bunch of side dishes from the oven. The green bean casserole:

 A dish of dressing (if this were in the turkey, it would be stuffing. We had that, too. But if you cook it in a casserole and not in the bird, it is dressing.):

A sweet potato casserole

Corn pudding:

The star of the meal, of course, was the turkey, a 16-pound bird that I brined for 24 hours in a magnificent elixer of soy sauce, rosemary, sage, salt, and water. Alas, I forgot to photograph it in all it's glory before I ripped off the wings and legs:

Fortunately, I photographed said wings and legs, post-removal:

Finally, I made some really bitchin' gravy. It was good:

Nephew Wolves proclaimed this a top-three feast. I've been doing this for better than 30 years, so top three is pretty good. Everyone was pleased, I must say, and we enjoyed the food and the company. I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving. Look forward to upcoming Christmas food porn, not to mention game food porn in the coming weeks. Happy Thanksgiving!