Sweet victory game food porn, delayed gratification edition

Yeah, I could have posted this game food porn post yesterday, right after the Packers smote the Falcons with a fine second-half defensive effort coupled with a nice little comeback effort, but I was busy fixing dinner for Cpl. Wolves, who was returning from his drill weekend in a blizzard (or at least the local equivalent -- see the snow post that follows this). In any event, the Packers won, which always makes the game food porn taste better. Learn about delayed gratification, people. We've waited five weeks for a win, surely you can wait one day for game food porn. This week we had, of course, the obligatory stuffed potato skins:

We also had the pigs in bacon, which we've had before but have not put up a recipe yet:

I promise to rectify that shortcoming soon. Finally, we had our featured item, sliders. Such a deceptively simple thing, sliders. Just little bitty, square hamburgers, right? Wrong. Or, at least, a little wrong. Behold.

You start with about a pound of hamburger, some dinner rolls or some similar sized buns that you can put sliders on, some onion powder, pepper, garlic powder and salt. You will use about a 1/2 teaspoon each of the garlic power, onion powder and salt. Pepper should be to taste.

Take a cooking sheet and cover it with parchment paper. You do have parchment paper, don't you? Oh, dear God, what am I dealing with here. Go get some fucking parchment paper. I'll wait.

Put your hamburger on the parchment paper you just went to the grocery store to get. Spread it out some, then get out your rolling pin, wrap it in plastic wrap (or cover the hamburger in plastic wrap -- whatevs) and roll the hamburger out until it is quite thin and covers the cooking sheet. I will pause while you people make inappropriate jokes about rolling out your meat. Finished? What's that? I'm the only one who even thout of that? OK, never mind, just roll it out:

Combine your seasonings, mix nicely, then sprinkle evenly over the rolled-out meat. Having done that, fold your meat in half. Again, I will pause while -- what? no folding meat jokes? Fine. Just fold the damn thing:

Now, put that sucker in the freezer for a couple minutes to let it set up. Then, get your pizza cutter and cut the meat into roughly even squares:

Now, heat your griddle to 350 degrees. You do have a griddle, don't you? Jeez, if you have to go to Target to get a griddle, we're going to miss the game. Fine, I'll wait.

OK, now that you're back from Target, heat it to 350 and grill our little hamburgers:

Split those dinner rolls, apply the condiments of your choice and enjoy:

Bon appetit.