OK, I just don't get it

For years, Sweden has been at No. 10 on the all-time visitors' list. Nobody has come by from Sweden for almost as long as they have been No. 10. Meanwhile, I keep getting visitors from the United Kingdom. Not in big numbers, but here and then, now and then. My question is, HOW THE FUCK has the U.K. not passed Sweden as the No. 10 all-time source of Eff You visitors? Come on, U.K., get with the program. You want to lose to the SWEDES? This isn't the Winter Olympics, after all. You have no excuse.

Starting the month strong

Having posted practically not at all in October, I figured I should do better in November. So I came to the blog and found that France is jumping all over Eff You. Maybe they hunger for that sweet, sweet porn that my frequent use of the word "fuck" indicates to them that this is the place for pr0n. Maybe they just like sites where the author doesn't post that much anymore. Anyway, thank you, France, for coming by and finding, well, nothing new. And definitely no porn.

OK, that was really weird

So, I'm up at 2 am, smoking pig for Labor Day -- I know, most of you were doing the same thing -- when I sat down at the computer for a minute as the hickory goodness gets infused into the ribs I have on the grill (the shoulder got smoked first). I went to my blog admin page and about spit out my beer. I've been busy this month and haven't posted much (the story of my year) and actually have been sick as a dog since Tuesday and posted not at all. I maintain my right to remain silent why I wasn't posting before that.

In any event, what I saw about blew my socks off. I wasn't wearing any, but it about blew my Crocs off. I guess that wouldn't take much -- Crocs aren't exactly tight-fitting, but you get the idea. More than 7,500 people visited the blog in one hour today, but they weren't visiting a particular post. They were just visiting the blog. I have no idea why. But in one hour on Sept. 2, September 2018 became easily the second-best month for visitors in blog history. That's a lot of people looking for porn, I guess.

Traffic update

Poland has overtaken Sweden for the No. 9 spot on all-time country of origin for Eff You visitors. Closing in on Canada as we speak.

Boom! The U.K. returns to the Top 10

For most of the first two years of this blog, the United Kingdom was the homeland of enough visitors to be solidly in the top 10 nations of origin. Initially in the top 5, the UK slowly drifted down the list as other nations overtook it. One day a couple years ago, the UK was bumped out of the top 10 by Latvia. Latvia! How humiliating, to be ousted by a nation with a fraction of its population.

But no more. Today, after weeks of regular visits from the UK, our favorite monarchy has muscled back into the top 10, nailing down the No. 10 spot. What's that mean? Why, it's time to play "Rule Britannia," of course:

All right, you Mongolians, try this

I said I would try to get some Mongolian visitors by posting state-of-the-art instructions on how to build a yurt, and dammit, that's what I'm going to do. If that article doesn't do it for you, try this:




I don't know what else I can do.

So where the hell are all the Eff You fans from Mongolia?

I know they know about us -- Mongolia is surrounded by nations that are among the most frequent visitors to Eff You, so Mongolia can't claim ignorance. Surely they've heard the talk on the streets about Eff You's comprehensive coverage of hot naked babes, fine food and the most advanced construction techniques for yurts. Surely this should make Eff You required reading in high society in Ulan Bator, don't you think? So do I. So how about it, Mongolia? Or, since no Mongolians have visited yet, how about some members of Eff You Nation in China or Russia tip off some of your Mongolian friends? I promise to get some yurt-building tips up, pronto.

Welcome, Cayman Islands!

We have received a visit from the Cayman Islands recently. It is, of course, our first, so we give them a hearty welcome. As always, we try to give a little background on the newest country visiting Eff You. Most of this shit comes from Wikipedia, and I'm not linking, so figure it out.

A British Overseas Territory in the western Caribbean, the Cayman Islands are made up of three main islands: Grand Cayman, Cayman Brac and Little Cayman. Located south of Cuba and northwest of Jamaica, The Caymans are considered geographically to be part of the Western Caribbean Zone and of the Greater Antilles, not to mention a major worldwide financial center. The Caymans also happen to be a recent visitor to EffYou, so give a warm welcome to our friends from the Cayman Islands. Heres hoping we all one day need to use the Caymans for tax-evasion purposes. You getting all that, Clapper? Then blow me!

I'm a little worried about Latvia

OK, so every time I mention Latvia or porn, I get a whole bunch of hits through a Russian search engine (but the hits are from Latvia). Naturally, food porn sets off a frenzy. The fascinating thing is that this seems to be actual searches by actual Latvians interested in porn, as opposed to spambots, but I could be wrong. In any event, the search terms used indicated that porn is not the sole topic of interest. It apparently needs to be porn linked in some way to Latvia. So if I mention hot naked Latvian chicks, traffic tomorrow should be pretty good. Just sayin'.

This is kind of weird

Traffic is very solid today, which lately is not kind of weird, but half of it is coming from Latvia, which is. Latvia has been an occasional Eff You visitor, but not a leader. Today alone, the number of hits from Latvia has nearly doubled and Latvia has vaulted into the Top 10 all-time at the No. 9 spot. Maybe somewhere in a recent post I inadvertently used the Latvian word for hot naked chicks and I'm getting lots of horny young Latvian men looking for pr0n. Or maybe it's just spambots.  I will never understand the logic of search engines.

Now we're cooking with grease!

In a wok, no less. Got my first visitor from China and, since no one is ever alone in China, I actually got two. Maybe there was a special.

Welcome to the club!

Apparently, New Zealand has search engines, as well, looking for the pron. Welcome to the blog - not sure how you got here, especially since I've taken several days off, but welcome.

Seriously, Moldova?

I don't even know where the fuck Moldova is, but we seem to have a visitor from that country, if that really is your name. (For the uninformed, that is how you begin the questioning of every witness: So, Mr. Jones, if that really is your name. Great to throw their credibility into doubt. Works every time. Can't believe more people don't use it.)