Yeah, it's another stupid traffic post

For months now, Sweden has been No. 10 on the all-time visitors list, even though it has been several years since anyone from Sweden came by. I have occasionally prodded the United Kingdom to send more visitors my way, since the UK used to be kind of high up in the Top 10. Anyway, to no avail. Last week, Romania roared out of nowhere with nearly a thousand visitors in one day and took over the 10th spot on the all-time list. While I am grateful for the visits, I suspect they were looking for porn, as I include just enough language in my posts referring to porn, pron, pr0n, and how I don't post pictures of naked women so that search bots looking for porn sometimes come by here. Hey, traffic is traffic. Still, I kind of hope the UK will step up and overtake Romania, mostly because I like seeing them on the top 10 list. Also, I cannot help but note that Denmark continues to close in on Germany for the No. 3 spot, France is charging hard and threatening to overtake Denmark for the No. 4 spot. I mention this only so that my Denmark readers can take note and step up their game. Just sayin'.

Denmark is closing in on Germany, but . . .

For several years, tiny Denmark has been closing in on much larger Germany in the total visitors count. That trend continues, and I could see Denmark passing Germany in the next year or so if trends continue. On the other hand, France, also much larger than Denmark, has been surging in recent months and is now much closer to Denmark than it has been in I don't know how long. My advice to Denmark is to kick it into gear. Just sayin'. Maybe a little advice on what Denmark should do to France:



Hit it, Denmark.

Starting the month strong

Having posted practically not at all in October, I figured I should do better in November. So I came to the blog and found that France is jumping all over Eff You. Maybe they hunger for that sweet, sweet porn that my frequent use of the word "fuck" indicates to them that this is the place for pr0n. Maybe they just like sites where the author doesn't post that much anymore. Anyway, thank you, France, for coming by and finding, well, nothing new. And definitely no porn.

Traffic comment

Eff You topped 200,000 visits a little while ago, but the top 10 visiting countries hasn't changed much in the last couple years. Sweden bumped the U.K. out of the number 10 spot a couple years ago, and since then, no changes have taken place.

Not in the order, anyway. The top five remain U.S., Russia, Germany, Denmark and France. But in the last year or so, Denmark has pulled closer to Germany -- about 2,500 visits behind now, rather than the 3,000 visits Denmark was behind Germany at about this time last year. Denmark also has opened the gap between itself and France. The French, of course, are cheese-eating surrender monkeys, so it doesn't surprise me to see them losing. But Denmark is kicking ass.

I suppose the fact that my European correspondent is Danish has a little to do with this, but there are clearly other Danes involved in the effort. Still looking for more content from my European correspondent, by the way (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). Anyway, tiny Denmark, land of exploding wind turbines, rocks. They haven't been this dominant since they took over England in 1013.

Apparently India can't decide whether to shit or get off the pot when it comes to aircraft purchases

India has a long history of buying Russian (or Soviet) aircraft. In recent years, though, they have been all over the map. India's military has Russian (or Soviet), French, American, British, Brazilian, Indian, Canadian and Swiss aircraft, ranging from trainers to airborne tankers to transports to fighters.

In recent years, the country has been looking for bids for its  Medium Multi-role Combat Aircraft, and effort to upgrade (through replacement) some of India's aging aircraft, primarily MiG-21s. That effort has been abandoned, but India has been negotiating with France to buy 36 Rafale fighters. Those talks apparently are not going well:

The Indian air force will not be receiving new Rafale fighter jets anytime soon. Despite a unique intergovernmental agreement signed by India and France in January committing to conclude a deal for 36 fully fitted Rafale jets, negotiations remain stuck on the value of the order. This is a stunning situation, bordering on the absurd. Price was precisely what bedeviled the possibility of an agreement for 126 fighters in India’s notoriously long but finally aborted Medium Multirole Combat Aircraft (M-MRCA) contest.

It would appear that India and France agreed that India would buy 36 of France's fifth-generation Rafale fighters (if you believe France -- they likely are no better than 4.5-generation, like the FA-18 Super Hornet) but failed to agree on the price. India now wants to pay a lot less than France wants to charge. It might be a commentary on how much India wants to spend on its military, but it also might be a commentary on how close other countries are to having truly fifth-generation fighters for sale. It looks a lot like the U.S. might be the only nation currently offering such a product, which bodes well for the future of the F-35. We'll see.

Aaaaaaaand here comes Denmark on the outside!

If this is a horse race, Denmark is Seabiscuit, an underdog if ever there was one. And yet, after falling more than 200 visits behind France in recent months, Denmark is now only 9 visits down. Further, the Danes are slowly but surely closing in on the third-place Germans, despite Germany's obvious numerical advantage. Other than the Danish bright spot, traffic this month is in the toilet. Um, tell your friends to drop by, mmmmm-kay?

I'm sure France appreciated the gesture

Some things have to be seen to be believed, and even then they are impossible to accept as real. Allahpundit of Hot Air is having just such a moment with this tweet from MSNBC air personality (can't call her a journalist or reporter, and I'm not even sure using the word "personality" to describe her really fits) Andrea Mitchell. Mitchell reports with a straight face that Secretary of State John Kerry, in Paris to apologize for the U.S. not sending an appropriate representative to last week's march against Islamic terrorism, brought 1970s folk singer James Taylor with him to sing "You've got a friend." Mitchell calls it "message to France after U.S. no shows last week." Most other people call it a story from The Onion. Nope:

The visit was organised after the White House admitted it had made a mistake in not dispatching a senior figure to Paris where 40 other world leaders took to the streets in solidarity with a million protesters after the attacks on Charlie Hebdo and a kosher supermarket.
Kerry will deliver some of his speech at the Paris city hall in French and then introduce the veteran American singer, James Taylor, most famous for the song You’ve Got a Friend.
“My visit to France is basically to share a big hug for Paris and express the affection of the American people for France and for our friends there who have been through a terrible time,” the secretary of state said in Bulgaria, before taking off for Paris.

"Veteran American singer" is Guardian-speak for "hasn't had a hit in 40 years and most people are surprised he's still alive." Seriously, was Barney the Dinosaur not available? His hey-day is a lot more recent than Taylor's, and his "I love you, you love me, we're a great big family" theme song is just as "appropriate," as in not at all. This is what passes for "smart power"? Shoulda stuck with those dumbass hashtags:

Blogging behind enemy lines

I've been doing a lot of blogging behind enemy lines lately because we almost never have anything to do. I guess that kind of makes it more like using an internet cafe in a country where some people don't like Americans that much but aren't going to attack us. Like France, maybe.

Anyway, this project simply refuses to die. We sit around from 8 am to 7 pm, some days with a little work, most days not. I believe we are being kept around as a sort of fire brigade until the government agencies involved approve this transaction. I mean, it could be because of my dashing good looks and rapier-sharp wit, but that doesn't explain why everybody else is still here. But we're here, and the swordfish keeps on swimming along.

God, I hate the French

Which makes it doubly disturbing that they are such frequent visitors to Eff You, since that means I have to welcome them, because that is what bloggers do for sources of traffic. All traffic is good. Having said that, what a revolting development -- an inexplicable surge from France has vaulted the cheese-eating surrender monkeys past Denmark into fourth place on the all-time visitors list, behind only the U.S., Russia and Germany. On the one hand, welcome to all my French visitors over the last 24 hours or so. On the other hand, come on, Denmark, kick some frog-eater ass.

A boring traffic post with a twist -- horse race!

Only once before have I used a traffic post to set up a competition, and that was only because I hate the French. Well, time to do it again. Since passing France on the all-time list of most-frequent visitors to Eff You, Denmark has been widening its lead. I cannot help but notice that Sweden, once the No. 2 source of visitors  to Eff You, has been lollygagging, and Denmark is poised to pass the Swedes, as well. I supposed if folks in Denmark were motivated and banded together, they could continue to surge in the rankings. Not sure how many people in Denmark care, of course. But the Swedes, I think, are no longer fooled by my promises of pr0n, naked wimmen and such. They are ripe for defeat.  Just sayin'.

Traffic post of interest only to me and maybe one other person.

It would appear that Denmark is only 10 visits behind France for 6th on the all-time list. Hmmmm. I fucking hate the French.