Yes, we saw an epic collapse in the last few minutes of last night's NFC championship game. It was inexcusable. I damn near killed myself. Had they presented themselves, I probably would have killed some random strangers. Fortunately for everyone, none of that happened. But the Packers did, in fact, lose a game they should have won. It was horrible.
The game food wasn't, though. Actually, the game food was excellent. Nephew to Wolves and his girlfriend, Knows Fuck-All About Wolves, were in attendance, so in honor of her vegetarianism, we had several veggie-friendly dishes, including a veggie tray:
We also had caramel dip and apples, also veggie friendly but on the menu mainly because of the presence of Marrying Into Wolves:
Instead of bacon-cheeseburger macaroni and cheese I fixed a vegetarian friendly mac and cheese (the recipe and instructions will follow this post):
Did some fondue, too:
Finally, meat makes an appearance in the form of brown sugar bacon dogs:
Back to meat free, I did some cheese-stuffed potato bites (recipe will follow in a later post):
Of course, we had stuffed potato skins:
Yes, we had veggie versions, too. At one point, the table looked like this:
Cpl. Wolves and Marrying Into Wolves both enjoyed the game food, although I think Cpl. Wolves enjoyed Marrying Into Wolves more:
Oh, yeah. For desert, we had bacon-wrapped doughnuts:
Those are really good. Game sucked (at least at the end). Game food didn't.
The Packers triumphed over the Cowboys, giving joy to everyone who hates the Cowboys, which is everyone. Sure, it means we have to go to Seattle next week and face a really good team, but I don't care. Today, we beat a really good team. And you know what? We did it with really good game food.
Nephew to Wolves came to the game today, bringing his girlfriend, Knows Fuck-all About Wolves. Well, she got an introduction today, and took it like a champ. She is a vegetarian, which required some changes to the usual Wolves carnivorous game food. Because we are nothing if not inclusive, I prepared several veggie-friendly dishes. We started with a veggie tray:
I also did some veggie-friendly skins (using non-bacon bacon bits):
And we threw in some caramel dip and apples:
Not content with that, I went with a suggestion from Mrs. Wolves and put out some Swiss fondue, using bread chunks and Swiss cheese. It's easy. Start with a fondue mix (let's not make this too complicated, people):
Cut up a baguette or some other kind of bread -- your choice -- into roughly one-inch squares:
Fill a bowl of that stuff:
Heat the cheese on the stove, then put your fondue pot over heat and dip away. Fucking excellent:
Naturally, there was no way I was going to completely abandon my carnivorous ways. We also had regular skins, with full bacon loaded:
And pigs in a blanket:
But the piece de resistance was the bacon-wrapped doughnuts. I used Krispy Kreme glazed doughnuts, which brought down the wrath of Mrs. Wolves, who, as does any good Southerner, holds Krispy Kreme glazed doughnuts on a high pedestal. When she found out what I had planned, she said this: "That is a crime against nature. Do you know what happens to people who do things like that? Think Dr. Frankenstein. Too much hubris, creating a new life form."
Despite spousal disapproval, I went ahead with my plan. First, freeze some glazed doughnuts (I understand if Krispy Kreme is not available to you, but I also fee sorry or you):
Take those bad boys out of the freezer, and get some bacon:
Wrap each of those doughnuts in bacon. I used half-slices, as that is how I generally store bacon, but I think it might be better to use uncut slices. I will try this next week. Half slices worked, though:
I put the wrapped doughnuts on a broiler pan. Set your oven at 400 degrees, and cook those suckers for 20-25 minutes, until the bacon is crisp:
When they are done, they should look like this:
And taste like this:
Just fucking excellent. Yes, these will be featured throughout the playoffs. NFC Championship Game next week, people. At Seattle, tough team, we'll see how it goes, but the food will be good. Count on it.
Yeah, there were a few tense moments when Aaron Rodgers went down hurt, and again when that asshole Ncan'tspellmyfirstname Suh stomped on Rodgers' injured calf, but we put the Lions in their place and ensured that they will have to try again next year to win in Wisconsin for the first time since 1991. I would feel sorry for them, but Lions fans are used to disappointment. Anyway, we won, they lost, we got the division title (for the fourth straight time), the first-round bye and the game food was pretty good.
It was dinner-ish game food, although maybe a little veggie-light. We started with apples and caramel dip, the new favorite of Marrying into Wolves:
I also boiled some peanuts for a true Southern delicacy. For those of you who have never tried them (or made them), I promise to do a step-by-step later in the playoffs. For now, this:
By the way, along with the autographed Aaron Rodgers photo, Cpl. Wolves gave me a new Packers apron he assumed was too damn gay for me to wear. He was wrong:
Naturally, we had stuffed potato skins:
We did baked beans (not made-from-scratch this time):
Because they go so well with hot dogs:
And because they also go so well with ribs:
So, yeah, the only green vegetable was the relish on the hot dogs and the green onions on the skins. Live with it, and revel in the pork products. Game food will be on hiatus next week while we enjoy the bye and hope Aaron is a quick healer.
Worst-case scenario, the Packers are in as a wild-card playoff team. If they win next week, they will be at worst the No. 2 seed. Depending upon the outcome of tonight's Cardinals-Seahawks game, they could be the No. 1 seed and have home field advantage throughout the playoffs. But we're in the playoffs, so what really matters here? Game food porn! Fortunately for you, we have plenty of it.
Today, we introduced a dish I call bacon bakers: bacon-wrapped potatoes. Start with small potatoes -- and I mean bite-sized small. Roll them in olive oil and sprinkle them with house seasoning. To make house seasoning, mix a cup of salt, 1/4 cup of onion powder, 1/4 cup of garlic powder and 1/4 cup of black pepper -- bake and BOOM! Excellence on a plate.
So, anyway, start with about a dozen-and-a-half very small potatoes, roll them in olive oil and dust with house seasoning:
Lay those suckers out in a baking pan of some sort:
Wrap each potato in a half-strip of bacon (do I have to draw a picture? Cut the bacon in half.) and secure the bacon with a toothpick:
Should look something like this when you'r done:
Bake that sucker at 400 for about 50 minutes, until the bacon is crispy and the potatoes are soft and fluffy. Serve hot (and take your picture quickly, because people will scarf these up and you'll get a picture like this, with damn few potatoes in it):
We had other stuff, too. We put out the sliced apples and caramel dip:
Also fired up some pigs in a blanket:
Naturally, we had skins:
And, because we time-shifted the game and recorded it so Marrying into Wolves could watch after work, the game food was dinner and, what is dinner without a vegetable? We tossed in a simple veggie plate:
All in all, pretty good game food combined with a playoff-clinching win. Bring on the Lions!
We time-shifted yesterday, recording the game so Marrying Into Wolves could see it, so game food bled into dinner. Dinner was brats and other stuff, and I didn't bother with pictures of that. The game food, which was excellent, was much better than the game, which was not. Sloppy play by the Packers offense led to defeat at the hands of the Bills, who have a legitimate defense but no offense to speak of. But we will not speak of this. Next week, the march to the playoffs resumes. In the meantime, yesterday we started with something new -- apple slices and caramel dip:
Yeah, I cheated and bought caramel dip. You think I'm going to try and make that shit? We also had onion straws with dip, which I did make:
Of course we had skins -- we always have skins:
We topped it off with dirty diapers. Man, I love those things:
Later we had tear-soaked brats and sides. Well, my brat was tear-soaked. The rest were just boiled in beer and then grilled.
