Monday, March 12, 2012

Can't we just execute someone?

It doesn't happen on every project, because not all projects have freezers with ice cube trays that require refilling (at least if you empty them and want more ice cubes later), but it happens on every project that has freezers and ice cube trays. It is further evidence that there is a significant minority (please Jesus do not let it be a majority, although I have my doubts) of contract attorneys who simply refuse, upon emptying an ice cube tray, to put unfrozen water in the tray and put the tray back in the freezer so that there will, magically, be ice cubes again later.

But it's worse than that. Of course it is -- we're talking about contract attorneys. They don't simply empty ice cube trays and not refill them. They take ice cubes out a couple at a time and leave partially filled trays in the freezer. At some point, all of the ice cubes are gone, and all the ice cube trays are in the freezer, empty. Oddly enough, this does not produce additional ice cubes. And yet, this does not inspire contract attorneys to refill the trays. I have tested this  -- empty ice cube trays can sit in the freezer for weeks, with no contract attorney making any move to put water in them in hopes of the ice cube gods smiling upon them.

So my question is, if the ice cube gods won't smite them, can I? I feel like I'd only have to kill one or two offenders before the rest got religion. Hell, we'd probably be up to our asses in ice cubes.

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