Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Planes, trains and automobiles

Tuesdays are my "Planes, trains and automobiles" day. They don't actually involve planes, but on Tuesdays Mrs. Wolves has to drive me to the commuter bus stop at the butt crack of dawn because she needs the car. I then take a bus to the Metro station at the end of the line, take the train to work. Later, I take the train back to the end of the line, get on a commuter bus and get picked up at the commuter bus stop by Mrs. Wolves.

I share this because today, on the bus ride from the Metro to the hinterlands (the wolf lair is far, far from the city) I sat next to someone who was lucky to survive the ride. If I had to guess his occupation, my answer would be either federal employee, contract attorney or computer dude, not necessarily in that order. He was doing a crossword puzzle from the daily free paper (having brought a clipboard to make it easier to write in his answers), he was unable to finish the puzzle in the half-hour or so it took to get to the hinterlands, and he was snuffing snot like a fucking five-year-old with a cold who has not yet learned to blow his nose. Seriously, every 45 seconds -- by my calculations, roughly every third breath -- this asswipe did a long, hard, sssssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiifffffffffffffffffffffffff of snot. By the end of the ride, I just wanted to scream at him, "Blow your mother fucking nose!"

Does this make me petty? Sure. Easily irritated? Damn fucking straight. Sick? Probably not -- I almost never get sick, no matter what kind of virus this cocksucker was packing. Oh, you meant sick, like, SICK? No. It doesn't. I think it is important to recognize when you are alone and when you are surrounded by people affected by your behavior. This guy clearly couldn't tell the difference. Hard to believe he isn't a temp. Federal employee is a good bet, though. Did I mention the ID badge on a cord around his neck? Yeah, dagger.

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