mytopleft

Sunday, January 29, 2017

I guess it wasn't the Pizza of Doom

Friday, the agency bought pizza for lunch. Cheap, no-very-good pizza, but pizza nonetheless. Temps being unable to pass up free food, no matter how bad, the crew descended like vultures on a dead water buffalo. But we didn't then get the notice that the project is over, so we have that going for us.

Time for a "shit I meant to do earlier before life interfered" post

I've been working 12 hours a day (and commuting 3), 6 days a week for most of the last 3 months. Time off during the holidays, to be sure, but mostly too busy to do justice to the blog, and for that I apoligize. I'm going to do a couple quick hits here on stuff I meant to get to weeks or even months ago.

First off, Fidel Castro died, and good fucking riddance. Naturally, nothing is going to change in Cuba. Raul Castro is just as big a graft-and-corruption driven communist as Fidel, so he will continue to suck billions out of the country and be a wealthy man while his people struggle to survive. I understand that a like-minded successor awaits Raul's death. Emperor Barry's "overture" to Cuba did nothing but put more money in the pockets of a dictatorship. Good job, dude.

The point of this post, however, is quite simple, thusly:


That is the Cuban Army vehicle carrying Fidel Castro's remains on his final parade through Havana to the cheers of the "adoring" masses. Yes, you see that right -- the vehicle broke down, and those army turds are pushing it. That, my friends, is Cuba, now and for the foreseeable future. A broken dictatorship unable to do anything right except stay in power and enrich the dictator and his minions. Can't imagine why we didn't open our arms to them before.

Second on the neglected list is, of course, the fact that Emperor Barry is gone. I wasn't a Trump guy, but he has been doing the things he said he would, which puts him ahead of most newly elected presidents, so he has that going for him. Right now, though, the part about Trump being president instead of Hillary (who would have continued Emperor Barry's policies) is this:


Finally, we get to the butt-hurt crybabies who can't seem to get over the fact that the only candidate who could have lost to Trump in the general election did, in fact, lose. They can't stop whining, pissing, moaning, rioting in the city I work in and screaming about "resistance." Remember when all that shit happened in 2008 after Barry won? Oh, wait, never  mind -- that shit didn't happen, and anybody who complained that maybe the socialist who won was a socialist was branded a racist. So, now we have people setting things on fire on Inauguration Day and breaking windows, screaming about being the resistance and getting arrested. Sounds like democracy to me:


I hope to post more regularly soon. Personally, I think this swordfish is almost ready to be brought on board the boat. It's looking pretty tired.

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Pizza of Doom?

We got an email yesterday letting us know that as a reward for all of our hard work, we would be getting pizza on Friday courtesy of the agency. This is, of course, a time-honored way of letting folks know that at least some of us will be unemployed by the time the weekend is done.

I don't know if cuts are coming this weekend, but no one views the Pizza of Doom as a good sign. Guess we'll know soon.

Niger? Hot damn, y'all, come on down!

Just got our first-time visitor from Niger, which only adds to my head-count in Africa. In Europe, I have visits from everybody but the micro-states -- yo, San Marino, what the fuck is the hold-up? -- and I'm doing pretty good in Asia (although there are some holdouts there), but Africa still is where my best visitor-growth potential lies. Good to see Niger come by.

So what do we know about Niger? Well, Niger:
officially the Republic of Niger, is a landlocked country in Western Africa, named after the Niger River. Niger is bordered by Libya to the northeast, Chad to the east, Nigeria and Benin to the south, Burkina Faso and Mali to the west, and Algeria to the northwest. Niger covers a land area of almost 1,270,000 km2, making it the largest country in West Africa, with over 80 percent of its land area covered by the Sahara Desert. The country's predominantly Islamic population of about 19 million[4] is mostly clustered in the far south and west of the country. The capital city is Niamey, located in the far-southwest corner of Niger.
Niger is a developing country, and is consistently one of the lowest-ranked in the United Nations' Human Development Index (HDI); it was ranked last at 188th for 2014.
Doesn't sound too good for the home team. Unfortunately, Niger is landlocked and mostly desert. Hard to move up from that, so the country is very poor. Even for Africa. Best wishes, Niger, and let's all give them a big Eff You welcome. Thanks for coming by, and next time bring your friends.

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Great game food, shitty game

It's not even over, but we are getting our asses kicked, so I am putting up a game food post. The game food was much better than the game. We started with stuffed tater tots:


These are seriously goods. We also put out some dirty diapers, which are also excellent:


Finally, I did some bacon-wrapped donuts:


Oh my God, so good. And they all looked good together:


All in all, a culinary success, but a football failure. Next year.

Mrs. Wolves takes pictures of light

Most people don't think that much about light, but Mrs. Wolves does. She went out by Farmer John's field (even though his name almost undoubtedly is not John) and took some pictures close to sunset. Lots of pink:


Different angles, same pink:


Clouds are what make the picture:


So I guess we'll see what she comes up with next.

Big game coming up

The Packers are at Atlanta for the NFC title game in about 20 minutes. We are geared up, ready to watch. Game food coming, maybe in real time, so stay tuned.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

I think some people need to gain a little perspective

We had some folks this past week protesting on the steps of the Supreme Court calling for an end to the death penalty. They apparently see no irony in claiming that the death penalty is unconstitutional when the Constitution says no such thing but the same people claim there is a right under the Constitution to kill unborn children, which oddly enough is not included in the Constitution. But I digress. They put up a banner on the steps of the Supreme Court building:


Seems like they might've wanted to time things better, as during the same week a guy in Virginia was up for execution for some pretty nasty shit:
JARRATT, Va. (AP) — A man convicted of killing a family of four, slashing their throats and setting their home ablaze after they left their front door open while preparing for a New Year's Day party in 2006, was executed Wednesday.
. . .
Gray was condemned to death in 2006 for the murders of 9-year-old Stella Harvey and 4-year-old sister Ruby, and sentenced to life in prison for the slaying of their parents, Bryan and Kathryn Harvey.
The family was getting ready to host friends for a chili dinner when Gray and his nephew, Ray Dandridge, were looking for a home to rob when they spotted the open door. Court records show they tied up the family in the basement and Gray slashed their throats and bashed their heads with a hammer before setting their home on fire and fleeing with a computer, a wedding ring and a basket of cookies.
We should absolutely keep shit like this alive because it is cruel and unusual to execute them, right? Fuck you. The only thing that pisses me off about this guy's death is it took too long. I hope the cookies tasted like shit.

Before they toasted his ass, the sack of shit had the audacity to claim that the way Virginia planned to kill him was inhumane, as if slitting the throats of a couple little girls and their parents, then finishing them off with a hammer was humane:
RICHMOND, Va. (AP) — A Virginia inmate asked a federal court Wednesday to block the state's plans to execute him next month with lethal injection drugs from a secret compounding pharmacy, suggesting even a firing squad would be more humane.
Attorneys for Ricky Gray said in a federal complaint that there is a serious risk that Virginia will "chemically torture" the man to death when it uses compounded drugs for his execution scheduled for Jan. 18. Although firing squads aren't permitted under Virginia law, his attorneys argue even that method would be a more humane alternative.
Fuck chops wanted a more humane alternative, as if he ever gave his victims the same consideration. Fuck 'em.

I think this went about the way everybody thought it would

The night before the inauguration of President-Elect Donald Trump, Trump supporters held a ball at the National Press Building that they called the "DeploraBall," referencing the losing candidate's description of Trump supporters as a "basket of deplorables." What was that candidate's name again? Can't remember.

Anyway, a couple hundred well-funded lefties -- with high-tech audio and video equipment and pre-printed signs, no doubt all paid for by George Soros or Tom Steyer or some other billionaire sore loser -- held a protest outside. District prevented the whiners from crashing the ball, but nothing could stop the temper tantrum these stupid fucks threw in the streets. NBC-4 covered things pretty well, actually. Go there for pretty good video. You'll see the professionals hoping to record police brutality, as well as the amateurs -- what Lenin called the "useful idiots" -- holding their smart phones in the air, also hoping the record police brutality. All they recorded was them beclowning themselves. At some point they set off "smoke devices," and eventually they got tired of failing to interrupt somebody else's good time and went home. Sucks when you can't get anybody to split your head open with a nighstick. Pepper spray is so routine.

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Meryl Streep don't know shit

It is hard to imagine a woman more out of touch with America than Meryl Streep -- or, it would be if Hillary Clinton did not exist, but I digress. At the Golden Globes awards show recently -- a show that is both about and not about tits, oddly enough -- Streep said this in an apparent effort to criticize, um, Donald Trump, I guess:
“So Hollywood is crawling with outsiders and foreigners,” Streep said, a criticism of Trump’s anti-illegal-immigrant rhetoric. “And if we kick them all out you’ll have nothing to watch but football and mixed martial arts, which are not the arts.”
No one has accused Streep of being one of the people, and I don't think she even realized that she was highlighting the us/elites divide that led to Trump being elected in the first place. But this comment posted on the Washington Post website story about Streep's speech captured that divided beautifully:
I'd more like to take issue with her disparagement of (American) football. Anyone who watched Green Bay linebacker Clay Matthews get a sack, two forced fumbles AND a fumble recovery...all in one play...against the Giants this past Sunday and still doesn't think football can be art needs to have their head examined.
Here is the play referenced:



Sorry, Meryl, that play was closer to a work of art than any of your accent-of-the-month-club roles that got you all those Oscars in the '80s.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

A sad, sad development that makes sense

For I don't know how many decades, the Marines have used metal ammunition cans. They are rectangular, and the top has a hinge at one end and a locking mechanism at the other. Ammunition of all kinds has been carried in these cans for about 100 years. That looks to be coming to an end:
QUANTICO–In the Marine Corps’ rush to drop weight, one of the most beloved and storied pieces of gear could be left behind. At the service’s first Equipping the Infantry Challenge here Sept. 27, program managers said they’re looking for a lighter, more practical alternative to the iconic ammunition can.
Scott Rideout, program manager for ammunition at Marine Corps Systems Command, told industry leaders that the rectangular can, which today looks much the same as it did during World War II and Vietnam, may be overdue for an upgrade.
Marine Corps ammo comes to the warfighter, he said, “in the same metal can that it’s come in for 100 years. That metal can is one of those things that when the ammunition is brought to Marines, they take the ammunition out, distribute it however they’re going to distribute it, then throw [the can] away. The ammo can itself provides no value added to the Marine, except to help get the ammunition there.”
I can't tell you how many of these ammo cans we had when I was a kid. We stored everything in them. They were perfect. And that is not the only role these things play in the Corps:
The gear is even more central to Marine Corps identity: one of the elements of the Combat Fitness Test that all Marines must pass once a year is the ammunition can lift, in which troops are tested on the number of times they can lift a 30-pound can above their head and shoulders within two minutes.
Like so:


I suppose the move makes sense. Marines are sent into combat carrying so much weight these days (as are soldiers) that it makes no sense to make them carry more weight than necessary. On the other hand, the ammo can is a big part of the Corps culture. Not sure what will replace that. Sure wish I still had one of those cans, though.







Monday, January 16, 2017

Most triumphant game food post

Yeah, I know I just posted the game food porn from last week, when we beat the shit out of the Giants, but I wanted to be a little more timely with posting the game food porn from yesterday, when we sent the Cowboys down to ignominious defeat in their own stadium. Naturally, the Packers will try to do the same to the Falcons next week, but first, we must review the game food porn that drove the Packers -- or at least some of their fans - to victory this week. We had the tater totchos:


Brown sugar bacon dogs also made the menu:


And we topped it off with bacon cheeseburger macaroni and cheese:


Of course, what we really topped it off with was a last-second field goal to send the top-seeded Cowboys home to cry all off-season long while the Packers advance to the conference championship game. Can't wait to take on the Falcons next week.

I told you there would be game food porn, so there is game food porn

Barely any time these days to post -- I think this swordfish is not looking too good, so take the hours while you can, as Rules 2 and 3 inform us. I'm taking what I can, but that doesn't mean I don't take time to watch the Packers. And if we watch the Packers, we serve game food! Sunday, when we beat the shit out of the Giants, 38-13, was no exception. We started with stuffed skins:


Because this was a dinner-time game, I fixed French dip roast beef sandwiches with baked beans and onion rings. The rings were baked, and were damn good. Start with a couple large onions cut into wide rings. Take the smaller interior rings and use them for something else. Only big rings here. Put the rings in ice water (I have no fucking idea why):


Put 1-3/4 cups of flour into a wide, shallow dish. Add a tbsp of coarse salt. You should take those big rings and rub them around in the flour:


You then need a flat dish filled with 2 cups of butter milk. Then you should drop those big onion rings in the buttermilk:


Presumably, you have crushed a couple cups of corn flakes and put hose in a flat dish as well. Naturally, that means that next you will dip and drag your onion rings through the corn flakes:


As you complete the process for each ring, you will put the completed ring on a well-greased baking sheet:


You will bake them at 450 for about 25 minutes, turning them at about 12 minutes:


You will then enjoy the hell out of them with steak sandwiches and baked beans, or whatever the hell you prepared:


You will enjoy them even more if you beat the shit out of the Giants, which we did. Yeah, it's dated, but that's what happened last week. Victory over the Cowboys game food is coming shortly.

Friday, January 13, 2017

The Swiss seem very sensible to me

I mean, seriously, why would you want to give citizenship to someone who disagrees with pretty much everything your country stands for? Well, while the U.S. seems hell-bent on that course -- at least for another week or so -- Switzerland residents aren't quite sold on the idea:
A woman has been denied a second application for a Swiss passport after local residents took offence to her rejection of traditions and her “annoying” campaigning.
. . .
The animal rights activist has campaigned publicly against the local traditions of putting bells around cows’ necks and piglet racing, according to The Local. In her village within the canton of Aargau, Ms Holten, a vegan, has rubbed locals up the wrong way by giving interviews to the media about her views on animal rights.
Oh, those intolerant Swiss, right? Well, maybe the woman is a batshit enviro-terrorist:
 “The sound that cowbells make is a hundred decibel. It is comparable to a pneumatic drill. We also would not want such a thing hanging close to our ears.” she reportedly told the media.
“The animals carry around five kilograms around their neck. It causes friction and burns to their skin,” she has said in interviews, according to the Daily Mail.
 I'm sorry, but I've never heard of a 12-pound cowbell, and it's not like they are amplified or powered in any way. If she claims the cow bells ring at 100 decibels, check out this chart to see whether you've ever heard a cowbell that loud -- or at least one hanging from a cow's neck.

Plus, this isn't the first time this inveterate nag has been rejected:
In Switzerland, local residents have a say in a person’s passport application. Ms Holten’s first attempt at naturalisation was made in 2015, when she was approved by local authorities but rejected by 144 out of 206 residents in a vote.
Three-quarters of her would-be friends and neighbors don't want her to have Swiss citizenship. That has to count for something, especially since she apparently doesn't want to be Swiss. If a nation declines to defend its culture and traditions, it ceases to be a nation. You can call that racist or intolerant or whatever all you want, but it is a fact. If you are not interested in becoming a part of a nation, adopting the cultural traditions of that nation, but instead want to change those traditions to fit your own views, then why the fuck would you want to become a citizen of that nation? Go home.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Poland brings it, rockets up the standings

For some reason, Poland has been bringing the heat in recent months, breaking into the all-time top 10 for home country of visitors, and even moving past Sweden to be No. 9 on that list. Well, winter in Poland must be pretty damn cold and they have nothing to do but cruise the internet, because we have a whole lotta Poland in the house.

Yesterday, Poland was by far the most common country of origin for Eff You visitors, with more than three times as many Poles coming by as Americans. This surge blasted Poland to No. 8 in the country-of-origin standings, easily moving past Canada.

Sure, it's a stupid traffic post, but what do you want from a man who spends barely any waking moments at home?

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Another dusting of snow

Thursday night, we got a couple inches of snow. Still just a tease. Looking right from the front door at about 2 am:


And left:


And straight ahead:


Messy, but not a big deal for the commute -- most federal employees take any excuse to avoid work, so the roads were empty. Works for me.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

By the way . . .

Traffic in December was excellent, making December the second-best month in the history of the blog aside from the November 2011 Instalanche, when the popular site Instapundit linked to a post here and gave me nearly 30,000 visitors in one day. This is not a high-traffic blog, so that month became the all-time leader in the absence of another link from Instapundit. Still, December traffic was good, so thank you all. Keep coming by.

Game food porn coming

The Packers beat the living shit out of the Giants today, 38-13. On to Dallas. Had some good game food along the way, which I will post shortly. Stay tuned.

Not new, but not bad

This video is, I think, from 2011, but it is pretty good. The West Virginia University marching band did a half-time show tribute to the military -- pretty standard stuff, but well executed.


Truthfully, I couldn't hum the Coast Guard hymn (theme song, whatever they call it) with a gun to my head.

Temps are seriously weird

A woman I know on this project has been complaining for weeks about a dude in her room who clips his fingernails at his desk, apparently a couple times a week. Whenever he does it, she leaves the room in disgust, but she never has told him to knock it off, nor has she asked anyone higher in the chain of command to tell him to knock it off.

Well, it would appear that someone has told him that this is gross, disgusting, unacceptable and a good way to get shanked in the bathroom. Maybe they didn't mention getting shanked in the bathroom, because that appears to be where he has taken his fetish.

I walked into the men's room Friday, intent on taking care of business and getting out. One of the stalls was occupied, but I paid it no mind as I had no intention of taking a seat. As I assumed the position, I heard the distinctive sound of nail clippers behind me.

Due was clipping at a furious rate, so many times that he must have had 20 fingers. I figured toes were involved. When I went to the sink to wash my hands, I bent down a little to take a peak and see if he was working the toe function. Nope. He was standing, facing the toilet, clipping like a son of a bitch. Still clipping when I left the bathroom. He must've been down to the second knuckle. No fucking way he had any fingernails left.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Iceland? Oh, hell yeah!

Seems to be my first-time visitor from Iceland, so it is time to give those folks the treatment.

I have a brother-in-law who has visited Iceland a lot and calls it the world's largest trailer park, but he is a disreputable individual and so we will go with some info from Wikipedia, which probably is only slightly more reliable than my brother-in-law (who is scum):
The Republic of Iceland . . . is a Nordic island country in the North Atlantic Ocean. It has a population of 332,529 and an area of 103,000 km2 (40,000 sq mi), making it the most sparsely populated country in Europe.[7] The capital and largest city is Reykjavík. Reykjavík and the surrounding areas in the southwest of the country are home to over two-thirds of the population. Iceland is volcanically and geologically active. The interior consists of a plateau characterised by sand and lava fields, mountains and glaciers, while many glacial rivers flow to the sea through the lowlands. Iceland is warmed by the Gulf Stream and has a temperate climate, despite a high latitude just outside the Arctic Circle. Its high latitude and marine influence still keeps summers chilly, with most of the archipelago having a tundra climate.
Monks might have been the first to settle Iceland, and Vikings or some other Scandinavians apparently followed.  The first settlers apparently arrived before 800 AD,
The period of these early settlements coincided with the Medieval Warm Period, when temperatures were similar to those of the early 20th century.[23] At this time, about 25% of Iceland was covered with forest, compared to 1% in the present day.[24] 
Those motherfucking SUV's were heating up the climate even then.

Anyway, the island was Danish for a long time, then became independent in 1944, which seems like a weird time to go rogue, what with World War II going on and all, but what the fuck do I know. I invite my European correspondent to chime in on this.

Because Iceland is a patronymic society, which last names based on the gender of the individual combined with the name of the father of that individual -- for instance, a man named August could father a son and a daughter, and the son's last name would be Augustson, while the daughter's last name would be Augustdottir -- it is impossible to tell whether a child is a product of a marriage or not.

Hence, the society really never has had any stigma attached to illegitimate birth, meaning they fuck like bunnies, hence the "world's largest trailer park" appellation. Hope I'm not offending any Icelanders, but hey, y'all are the ones fucking like bunnies.

Anyway, welcome to Eff You nation, and come back soon. Bring your friends!

Monday, January 2, 2017

We were THIS close to a white Christmas

A few days before Christmas, we actually go measurable snowfall. Things got too busy to post about it at the time. But a week before Christmas, this is what I woke up to on Sunday:


Looking left (east):


And right (west):


Sure, not much, but December snow happens so seldom around here that it was notable. Alas, it was a week early:


Of course, most of it was gone by late in the day, but still . . . A little better timing, and we could have had a White Christmas:


Thanks to The Drifters.

Kit-tays gotta kit-tay

The sisters were enjoying the Christmas-time spirit by lounging on a chair. Hey, it's what cats do:


Seriously lounging:


Happy New Year's, y'all.