Game food porn, Super Bowl edition: The pre-game game food

Yeah, that Super Bowl sucked ass. It might have been the worst I've ever seen, and I've seen all of them. There have been blowouts, but I can't recall a team looking so not ready to play as the Broncos were. They had no answers.

Fortunately for us, the game food did not suck. There was lots of good stuff to be had, and I think it was all appreciated. Certainly there wasn't much left over. Normally, we start with stuffed potato skins. For the eating marathon that is Super Bowl game food, however, we had pre-game game food, as well. We started with a blue cheese ball with crackers. Don't jack me up for the shitty picture, I was being chased by starting peasants with pitchforks at this point. OK, so they were friends and relatives, not peasants, and there were no pitchforks, but they definitely wanted pre-game game food:

 This was a homemade blue cheese ball, as I haven't been able to find one in stores for years. . Take two 8-ounce packages of cream cheese, let them soften in a mixing bowl, stir in crumble blue cheese (at least one cup, more if you want it cheesier). Recipe calls for a tablespoon or two of Worcestershire sauce, but I opted out. This was great. The recipe makes three balls, we demolished two.

Other pre-game game food included a homemade Mediterranean salsa. It has a lot of ingredients but is very easy to make. You will need 1 teaspoon of fresh garlic, 1/4 tsp of dillweed, 2 tbsp of olive oil, 1 cup of chopped tomato, cut into cubes (I guess you could use a can of diced tomatoes), 1/2 cup of chopped red onion, 1/4 tsp of salt, 2 tablespoons of lemon juice, 1/4 tsp of Tabasco, 1/4 cup of chopped black olives, 3/4 cup of chopped cucumber and a 15.5 oz can of great northern beans, drained and rinsed. The recipe also calls for 6 thinkly slied pepperoncini, but I left those out, as Marrying Into Wolves is spice sensitive:

 First, ix up the garlic, salt, dillwee, lemon juice, Tabasco and olive oil:

Add the cucumber, red onion, olives, great northern beans and tomato (and 6 thinly sliced pperoncini if you like it hot):

Mix it up right:

 Refrigerate for at least two hours before serving so the flavors can blend. When ready, serve with tortilla chips (scoops chips work great):

 So we had that going for us. But still the insatiable maw that was my Super Bowl crowd cried out for more pre-game game food. People, I delivered. Made some hummus. Just need a 16-oz can of garbanzo beans (also called chick peas), 3-5 tablespoons of lemon juice (depends on how you like it), 1-1/2 tablespoons of tahini, 2 cloves of crushed garlic, 1/2 teaspoon of salt and 2 tablespoons of olive oil:

The beer is for the chef. People always say to me, why don't you just use pre-chopped garlic from a jar instead of crushing your own fresh? I ask them why they don't just draw a picture of some smiling chick, put it on their wall and call it the Mona Fucking Lisa. Same thing. You want to use substitutes, that's OK, but don't pretend it's as good as the original. And I know that's not the Mona Lisa on your refrigerator.

Anyway, drain the garbanzos and save the liquid. You're going to need it. Some of it, anyway.

Combine all of the ingredients except the liquid in a food processor or blender:

Add 1/4 cup of the liquid you drained from the garbanzos:

Blend that stuff on low for 3-5 minutes. Mix it up right, people:

It should be thouroughly mixed and smooth. You'll know when it's ready. You can serve immediately, or cover and refrigerate. Either way, serve with pita chips or, if you have it, fresh, warm or toasted pita bread. We went with chips and served immediately because starving people were calling for my head:

The next post will deal with the game-food game food. Bon appetit!