Monday, May 4, 2015

I'm not sure how this came up, really

At work today, a discussion regarding the barbaric bathroom conditions here -- absolutely the worst I've ever seen in Temp Town, and I've seen some bad ones -- somehow led to The Poo Whisperer coming up. He is not on this project, but he was on the project I was on over the summer and fall for about six months. He's this old guy with white hair and blue shirts, and being in the bathroom when he is taking a dump (or whatever he is doing in there) is an unsettling experience. So I thought I'd share, because I apparently neglected to mention the Poo Whisperer before.

The dude would sit in the stall, ostensibly pooing. Mostly, though, he was talking to himself (or his poo, hence the name) in a way that sounded suspiciously like he was watching porn on his iPhone and, um, working the room, so to speak. "Oh, yeah, that's good. Yes, yes, oooooh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, oh, oh." Maybe he just enjoys a good poo. But damn it was scary.

I know this is the kind of stuff people come here for. Temps exist to make others feel superior. Normally, the others reside in the legal community, but those of you out there who do not have breathy, intimate conversations with your poo now have a basis for feeling superior to temps. Or at least to that one.

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