Yeah, it's another stupid traffic post

For months now, Sweden has been No. 10 on the all-time visitors list, even though it has been several years since anyone from Sweden came by. I have occasionally prodded the United Kingdom to send more visitors my way, since the UK used to be kind of high up in the Top 10. Anyway, to no avail. Last week, Romania roared out of nowhere with nearly a thousand visitors in one day and took over the 10th spot on the all-time list. While I am grateful for the visits, I suspect they were looking for porn, as I include just enough language in my posts referring to porn, pron, pr0n, and how I don't post pictures of naked women so that search bots looking for porn sometimes come by here. Hey, traffic is traffic. Still, I kind of hope the UK will step up and overtake Romania, mostly because I like seeing them on the top 10 list. Also, I cannot help but note that Denmark continues to close in on Germany for the No. 3 spot, France is charging hard and threatening to overtake Denmark for the No. 4 spot. I mention this only so that my Denmark readers can take note and step up their game. Just sayin'.

Germany is looking over its shoulder

Germany, with nearly 83 million residents, is number three on the list of most frequent visitors to Eff You, behind the U.S. and Russia. Naturally, virtually all of the Russian visitors are looking for porn or some way to steal other people's money. I have no money, but I throw in things like "hot naked Russian babes" every now and then to draw in the traffic that is looking for porn. Traffic is traffic, after all.

But Germany's hold on third place is getting a little shaky. Slowly but surely, Denmark, with less than 6 million residents, is closing in on the Teutonic juggernaut. Still a ways behind, but Denmark is closing the gap. If this blog goes on long enough, Denmark will take over the No. 3 spot.

Of course, my European correspondent lives in Denmark (haven't heard from him in a while -- hint, hint) but that can't explain the traffic we're seeing from Denmark. I guess the Danes know quality when they see it? Quality what? Damned if I know.

Traffic comment

Eff You topped 200,000 visits a little while ago, but the top 10 visiting countries hasn't changed much in the last couple years. Sweden bumped the U.K. out of the number 10 spot a couple years ago, and since then, no changes have taken place.

Not in the order, anyway. The top five remain U.S., Russia, Germany, Denmark and France. But in the last year or so, Denmark has pulled closer to Germany -- about 2,500 visits behind now, rather than the 3,000 visits Denmark was behind Germany at about this time last year. Denmark also has opened the gap between itself and France. The French, of course, are cheese-eating surrender monkeys, so it doesn't surprise me to see them losing. But Denmark is kicking ass.

I suppose the fact that my European correspondent is Danish has a little to do with this, but there are clearly other Danes involved in the effort. Still looking for more content from my European correspondent, by the way (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). Anyway, tiny Denmark, land of exploding wind turbines, rocks. They haven't been this dominant since they took over England in 1013.

You don't post, they don't come

I have been extremely busy lately, working, not working, and working on finding a way out of Temp Town. I have been doing a fair amount of freelance writing. Alas, this generally is not lucrative enough to give up temping, but I am working on that angle. All of this adds up to me not posting very much. My posts-per-month numbers lately have looked a lot like the numbers from the beginning of the blog -- really fucking low.

Not surprisingly, low numbers of posts equals low numbers of visitors. My traffic numbers likewise are down to the level of those seen in the early days of the blog.

Well, fuck that. Have a holly, jolly Christmas, bitches, because December numbers are going up. I am on a heavy overtime project, and I am doing a bunch of freelance writing, and I don't care if I ever sleep again. Posts are coming. Deal with it.

In case you're keeping track

Poland is no longer No. 10 on the all-time visitors' list. No, they didn't surrender the spot to the U.K. or Latvia, who played takeaway for so long with the slot before the Poles decided to kick both of those nations out of the Top 10. No, Sweden is back in the Top 10 at No. 10. Poland has moved up to No. 7. Too lazy to figure out who got booted in favor of Sweden, but Poland is kicking it! Denmark continues to overperform at No. 4.

Traffic, odds, and ends

August traffic was pretty much mediocre at best, tending toward bad, but not awful, especially when you consider that I posted almost not at all during August. The fact that anyone visited is a testimony to the persistence of spambots seeking porn. They come to this site because I say "fuck" a lot. But I digress.

I have excuses, of course -- I have been working more than 60 hours a week since late July, impeding my ability to post simply by virtue of taking my time. I also have been doing a fair amount of freelance writing in the last six weeks, which might or might not give me an avenue out of Temp Town but certainly puts claims on my time. I have a small window when I get home, and I have to squeeze through that window freelancing, walking Jeb, canning vegetables (this time of year, anyway), domestic stuff and any number of other things that need or want doing on a given night. Blog posts tend to sink down the list of priorities. So I apologize for my lack of diligence in posting.

Naturally, given the fact that I have almost no time as it is, I am planning a venture that will make things worse. It is a different topic, and a different medium, and it won't happen tomorrow, but I am planning a new venture that I fervently hope will also grease the skids for my exit from Temp Town. More on that later.

Anyway, please keep coming by -- and yes, that includes you, Russian porn-seeking spambots -- because I appreciate it. Did I mention I might move the blog to another location? Yeah, more on that later, too.

The Russians are fucking killing it lately

Not sure why, probably has nothing to do with Comey, Trump and Hillary, but Russia is driving traffic most days lately. Still looking for porn, I guess. Fuck them and their nasty pornographic search for hot naked babes doing nasty things. Not that I'm trying to drive traffic or anything.

10 posts? Seriously?

Between working 70 hours a week and computer problems that apparently are going to lead to replacement, I haven't done much posting this month. Naturally, that means that traffic is in the shitter -- let's face it, if you don't build it, they won't come.

I ain't been building it this month, so they didn't come. But 10 posts so far this month? Fuck me.

You don't post, they don't come

Terrible month for traffic. My fault, since I posted less than once a day. Not a formula for success. This is:

By the way . . .

Traffic in December was excellent, making December the second-best month in the history of the blog aside from the November 2011 Instalanche, when the popular site Instapundit linked to a post here and gave me nearly 30,000 visitors in one day. This is not a high-traffic blog, so that month became the all-time leader in the absence of another link from Instapundit. Still, December traffic was good, so thank you all. Keep coming by.

Boom!

December 2016 is now the second-most-viewed month in the history of Eff You, and still going strong with a little under 24 hours to go. It is second only to the November 2012 Instalanche, when Eff You was linked by one of the most popular blogs in the world and got 29,000 visits in one day. Hard to top that for a low-traffic blog like this, but 12/2016 did itself proud and is now No. 2 alltime.

A boring traffic post

With just more than two days left in the month, I am only about 50 hits away from having the second-best month ever for traffic on the blog. Normally, December sucks rocks, but this year, apparently, the porn-seeking spambots have been hitting the site because I say fuck a lot, and doing so at a high rate. Fuck yeah!

Sometimes I like to promote an old post

This post is suddenly doing very well with traffic. I approve. This particular post makes a case for cover versions of a song being better than the original. Feel free to comment.

This post is taking off

Not sure why, but this post has been going gangbusters (at least for this blog) since it was posted a few days ago. Go figure.

OK, if we have Andorra, where the hell is San Marino?

There are, apparently, six European micro-states: Andorra, Malta, Monaco, San Marino, Vatican City and Lichtenstein. Malta and Andorra have come by, with Andorra coming by only two days after a post lamenting that Lichtenstein continues to ignore Eff You. It seems clear that the post imploring Lichtenstein to visit, which mention Andorra's recalcitrance, was responsible for the visit by someone in Andorra.

Well, I am now calling upon Monaco, San Marino, Vatican City and Lichtenstein to pony up, damn it. Where the hell you been? I'm waiting.

Feeling the love from Poland

And Polish isn't even one of the 10 languages in which I used to be able to order a beer and ask where the bathroom is. Nonetheless, Poland is driving our traffic today here at Eff You, running only slightly behind U.S. visitors. Must be because I love kielbasa so much. Certainly it couldn't be because of my use of the phrase, "smoking hot naked Polish chicks," because I just used that for the first time in this sentence. And I hope it helps drive even more visitors here from Poland.

OK, this one has me stymied

I get traffic directed my way from all kinds of places. Mostly, it is either people who know about the blog or people who do internet searches for stuff that happens here, among other places. Many of those, of course, are disappointed porn-seekers, since I do food porn and occasionally used phrases like "smoking hot naked Russian babes." Hey, a guy has to drive traffic somehow.

So I understand how a lot of my traffic winds up here. Often, it comes through blogs that list Eff You on their blog roll, such as this guy. This week, though, I had a visitor who has me baffled. Apparently, the hit was directed through this site, which I've never heard of. I went to the site but could find absolutely no way anyone could have come to Eff You as a result of something they found there. Go figure.

Sometimes traffic makes no sense

Maybe even all the time. July clocked in as the 5th-best month ever on Eff You, despite the fact that the posts were all over the place, topic-wise, and I was unemployed for most of the month and so had no real insight to offer about Temp Town's current goings-on (except the fact that it sucks, at least for me at the moment). So anyway, thanks for coming by. Keep it up, bring your friends, and when anybody asks what you've been up to, tell them, "Eff You!"

Yeah, I've been a crappy blogger lately

There are a number of reasons for that, as work has been demanding and my home life has been even more demanding. Posting has been, I'm sorry to say, a low priority in recent days. Consequently, I have a lot of pent-up posts to do that I have been unable to get to over the last couple weeks. May turned out to be Eff You's third-best month ever, despite the fact that I posted almost not at all in the last week or so of the month, but June has been lackluster, no doubt because I have been posting squadoosh. Well, that's about to change, as Brad Paisley would say. What, you don't know the reference? Sorry to hear that:

Brad Paisley did the animation himself. He's a talented guy. If you follow country music, you should get all of the character references in the video. If you don't follow country music, you should.

Anyway, I got stuff to post, including food porn, farm porn, wedding porn and all kinds of stuff. Stay tuned.

Why, no, I am not above a cheap traffic-driving post. Why do you ask?

Because I would run a picture like this:

That's just hate speech, y'all.