Maybe next they'll want to do colonoscopies on us, too.

The market for temps continues to be robust, with multiple listings of new projects on most days. All that makes you wonder why any temp would take this project:

D.C. - new project; trademark review; start date July 1st

*Candidates must be licensed and in good standing in DC and not have any significant scheduling conflicts for the next month. Please let us know whether or not you are already registered with [an agency I have worked for].
*Start date: July 1, 2014
*Duration: 1 month
*Pay Rate: $29.00/hr
*Hours: 40 hours per week.
*Location: Metro Center
*Requirements: Must be active/good standing in any jurisdiction and have no significant scheduling conflicts for the next month. Completed conflicts, criminal and credit check are required.
Please submit your resume immediately in WORD format to [the email address of an agency I have worked for] with "Trademark Review" in the subject line.

Obviously, this agency is hoping to get people with trademark experience for a project with no overtime at below-market rates. The market right now is somewhere between $30/hour and $34 per hour, and it is heading up, not down. When you want specialized expertise, you normally must be prepared to pay for it. This agency, apparently, is not. Naturally, when you seek specialized expertise in Temp Town, you are at least as likely to get as many temps lying about their experience as people with actual experience in that field, so that might be why they aren't offering a premium. As busy as the market is right now, they have to know that they are close to the bottom of the barrel.

Of course, there are other problems with this project besides a low rate with no OT. Criminal and credit check? We've discussed these things before. If you have a criminal issue in your past, the Bar knows about it. As for a credit check, why? Being people who never know when their job will end or when the next will start, most temps have imperfect credit. Given the horrible market conditions the last five years or so, many temps have awful credit. Being on unemployment is not a good way to maintain a good credit rating. So why would a client care? Temps aren't going to try and borrow money from the client, nor is anyone going to attempt to bribe a temp with bad credit -- to whom a little extra money might seem attractive -- to get inside information. Hell, even temps with good credit would probably sell information, and they'd do it cheap. But nobody's offering, because the information temps get access to isn't worth it, even if you knew which temp to bribe. Temps don't pick their documents, so they can't get specifically requested information. The whole concept of these kinds of background/credit checks for temps is ludicrous. It's not that they are trustworthy necessarily, it's just that they are so low on the totem pole as to be worthless to someone seeking to penetrate an organization's files. But that's a story for another day.

The question before us right now is, why would you submit for the project above when there are other, far more desirable projects out there, staffing as we speak. For example:

[An agency I've never worked for] is staffing DC Barred attorneys for a document review project.
DETAILS:
Must be DC barred, in good standing, active
Rate is $30.00/ hour, $45/hour for overtime, overtime expected to include weekends
Start dates: July 2nd and July 7th
Duration is 2 months.
Hours are minimum 50/ maximum 70 a week, overtime and weekend hours are expected
Please send resume ASAP to [the email address for the agency].

 That's not a bad gig, as gigs go. With significant overtime, it's a big improvement over most projects in the last few years. Or how about this one:

[An agency I have worked for] is recruiting for DC Barred attorneys for a document review project. 

Reviewers will be added on a rolling basis between June 30th, 2014 and July 7th, 2014. 

Duration is 1-2 months.

Hours are 50-70 per week to include flexibility to work weekends.

Rate is $30.00 per hour plus 1.5 for overtime.

For immediate consideration, please email resume to [the email address for the agency]. Please include any time off requests in the next 2 months. Candidates will be required to complete a conflicts form.

Again, lots of overtime, and none of those pesky and pointless background or credit checks. Just a call for temps to come and do what temps do. Click. So which project would you take, should you find you piss off God and find yourself in Temp Town? Yeah, not the first one, that's for damn sure.