Did I fart?

Actually, if that were the explanation, I must have farted a lot, but I'm pretty sure that's not true. (I did nod off a couple times, so I could have farted like a dog while I was asleep and not know about it, but I don't think that happened, either.)

At this point, I'm sure all of you are wondering, "What the hell is that boy talking about?" OL, I'll splain. As I mentioned previously, I got moved a little while ago. As it turned out, my seat was even better than the near-perfect seat I had before. It is ambush-proof and I have bootleg internet access. Perfect. Of course, I was sitting next to a fucking neurotic chick, but that was tolerable, since she never spoke.

Well, almost never. She spoke to tell me that she could hear the music from my headphones and could I please turn it down. She would say this regardless of how low I turned it, so I basically started ignoring her. When I moved into my seat, the two desktops were touching (ours were the only two desks in our "row:" we were two desks backed against a short wall/window, facing out from the wall. Sweet.)

Tuesday or so, I noticed that our desks were about 6 inches apart. And each day thereafter, they were a few more inches apart. She was moving to the left every damn day. Yesterday, the desks were about 2 feet apart. And today, she had moved to another seat in a row further off to the left. I figured that if I wasn't ripping, I must have vicious BO or something. Finally, I asked my team leader what the fuck was going on.

Turns out to be much more bizarre than somebody fleeing farts or BO, though. The chick has a severe sound sensitivity, apparently, and was fleeing the miniscule level of sound escaping from my earbuds. Why she can't just buy some damn sound-cancelling headphones is beyond me. I don't see how she survives in Temp Town without them.

Because this sensitivity of hers apparently is much worse than not wanting to hear a little Toby Keith leak out of my headphones. Apparently, after I left yesterday, somebody opened a bag of baby carrots by squeezing it until it popped. The "pop" apparently damn near sent her into apoplexy and she nearly fainted. Made me feel a little better about her moving away. It wasn't personal -- she's batshit.

Naturally, the tem leader wouldn't let me sneak up behind her and yell "Boo!" Apparently there's a lot of paperwork when somebody dies on the job.