It's not really a first-time visitor, but it is. Deal with it.

Taiwan came by for only the second time, but I have decided to give them first-time treatment. Back in the day, I didn't give new visitors the full travelogue treatment the way I usually do now, and Taiwan just got a quick blurb. I figured, since I used to live in Taiwan, I should give them more props. Today I got my second visitor from Taiwan, so here goes:

Taiwan. . . , officially the Republic of China . . . , is a state in East Asia. The Republic of China, originally based in mainland China, now governs the island of Taiwan, which makes up over 99% of its territory,[f] as well as Penghu, Kinmen, Matsu, and other minor islands. Neighboring states include the People's Republic of China to the west, Japan to the east and northeast, and the Philippines to the south. Taipei is the seat of the central government.[2] New Taipei, encompassing the metropolitan area surrounding Taipei proper, is the most populous city.

Taiwan used to be called Formosa, which is what the Portuguese named the island when they stumbled upon it in the 1500s. The Republic of China (ROC) used to include all of mainland China, as well, but Mao Tse-Tung (I think they spell it Zedong these days) and his communist henchmen drove the Nationalists out of mainland China in 1949. Both sides claim to rule all of China. Neither side believes its own bullshit on that, although the PRC in all likelihood will try to take Taiwan by force once it thinks it can get away with it.

My memories of Taiwan, I think, are of a time when Taiwan was transitioning from an attitude that war with the mainland was inevitable to a belief that war could happen but in the meantime, let's become an international economic powerhouse. When I lived there, the country was still under martial law, and trucks full of troops were a common sight on the streets of Taipei. The islands of Quemoy and Matsu, just off the coast of mainland China, still got shelled by the communist Chinese pretty regularly, and the government was fully prepared to repel an invasion from the mainland. When we went to the beach, I would have competitions with my father to see who could spot the most defensive bunkers. He always won, but it was astounding how well-fortified Taiwan's beaches were.

 In 1979, the U.S. was in the process of terminating diplomatic relations with the ROC, and my father was the last military liaison at the U.S. embassy to the ROC. (He later became the head coach of the national track and field team, and was the head coach of the ROC's Olympic team at Los Angeles in 1984, the first time Taiwan participated in the Olympics. It's a long story. Don't ask.)  At the end of 1979, when the U.S. officially ended diplomatic relations with the ROC -- thank you Jimmy Carter, you big pussy -- the embassy closed. In its place arose a supposedly private organization called the American Institute in Taipei, which served all the functions of an embassy and was staffed by former U.S. State Department personnel who resigned from the State Department, took jobs at AIT for the length of a standard State Department overseas tour, then at the end of that time miraculously were rehired by the State Department and sent elsewhere with no loss of seniority, pension benefits, etc. Yeah, no one was fooled.

I spent a lot of time at the beach, at least when I wasn't working. My favorite beach was Fulung, on the east side of the island south of Taipei. There was a resort there, with the beach separated from the main resort by what I assume was the Fulung River. Whatever its name was, it was a small, not-very-wide river spanned by a passenger bridge. The bridge was locked up at night, but we would sometimes stay overnight and swim across the river to go swimming in the ocean and sleep on the beach. Good times. Here's the bridge:

Much to the chagrin of local authorities, I once led a contingent of expatriates in jumping off the bridge into the river. Butch Stiftl, a German national who had hardly lived in Germany at all and spoke English and Mandarin like a native but whose German sucked (according to his mother), saved our butts with his fluent Mandarin, talking us out of what I think would have been a trip to the pokey. Just upstream from the bridge was a place that rented out catamarans. The intention obviously was that you would sail them on the river upstream of the bridge. I, naturally, figured out that at low tide I could sail under the bridge and did so. Had six inches of clearance between the top of the mast and the bottom of the bridge, easy. Not wanting to be arrested, I tacked back and sailed back under the bridge. As far as I know, no one else ever did it. The boat rental folks were appalled and kept insisting that what I had done was impossible, saying over and over (according to Butch) that "You can't do that. It is not possible." I assured them, through Butch, that it was, in fact, quite possible. I didn't get in trouble, but they did refuse to rent me a boat ever again. It was worth it.

My first summer there, we lived on Yang Ming Shan, which means Grass Mountain. It was a mountain north of Taipei where the U.S. troops and diplomatic corps used to live. Naturally, there were lots of terraced rice fields on the slopes:

There also was some kind of Buddhist monastery up there which had some really nice gardens that we used to sneak into at night. Good fun, as the gardens were not, to my knowledge, open to the public. Monks gotta sleep sometime, though. Somewhere in my files of non-digital pictures, I probably have pics I could add. Both of these pictures are off the internet, but they are of places I remember. I could add my own pictures, I suppose. Perhaps another time.

Anyway, please extend a big Eff You welcome to our visitor from Taiwan. I'd love to meet at the Waltzing Matilda for a couple of Foster's, if only I had the time and money.