I don't think this is the kind of stuff we should turn to scientists to learn

Scientists say -- and let's face it, we trust these guys, because science, right? -- that this is the catchiest song of all time:



I'm not sure who is asking scientists this shit, because those guys are not exactly noted for their social skills and musical taste, so what the fuck would they know about catchy songs? Frankly, I'm getting a little tired of the "because science" horseshit, because most people are misrepresenting the science when they say that, and they don't understand the science anyway. As for the scientists, could we please quit pretending that many of them are not a bunch of grant-grubbing dickwads who are perfectly willing to link anything to anything if it gets them grants? And most so-called public interest groups that claim to represent "science" are just liberal shills who will sell you a membership for 20 bucks a year even if you can't spell "science." They certainly don't conduct actual research. If you think Science in the Public Interest or Union of Concerned Scientists are groups made up of scientists or that they are interested in science at all, please kill yourself before you reproduce, because science says that would be good for the gene pool, just like chlorine is good for a swimming pool. No, really, research proves it.

But I digress. We were talking about catchy songs. This Spice Girls song is catchy, but I'm not giving it any "of all time" awards. It's actually not a bad song, as pop songs go. To be the catchiest song of all time, a song must command your attention and have an unforgettable hook despite being God-fucking-awful. Like this:

Or maybe this:

Seriously, I could do this all night, but I'm tired. There are a lot of catchy songs out their catchier than the Spice Girls because they are catchy despite the fact that they suck. Further proof that scientists don't know everything. Hat tip to Hot Air for the original link.