Friday, July 22, 2016

I think Dante miscounted

He only got to nine, after all. Sure, I've bitched about projects before -- and they all sucked -- but I think I have finally reached the circle that Dante missed: Project 10th Circle.

The punishments range from the petty to the severe. Sure, we have no internet. But we've faced that before. On the other hand, this is the first no-internet project I've ever even heard of that provided no internet terminals away from your desk. Cell phone coverage in the review room is close to non-existent, so even people with smart phones (everybody but me) are having trouble checking their email.

Sure, we've been cramped before, but not like this. In a 20 by 40 foot room -- and that might be generous -- we have 100 people. Maybe more. Two long rows of tables, with a row at each end crossing the T. The tables have four work stations each, two on each side, even though they are neither long enough nor wide enough. There is no room for your document review binders in front of you -- all that fits is your keyboard and mouse pad. I guess they don't want us to refer to our review guidelines, because there sure as hell is nowhere to put them. Hell, there isn't room for anything besides the keyboard and mouse.

We live in fear of power outages. We were told in no uncertain terms to plug nothing into any of the available outlets in the room, or USB cables into the computers. No additional electrical load of any kind, as we are likely to blow a circuit breaker.

We have 100 people or more in a single room. We have no trashcans.

Then, of course, there is the casual disregard for common human dignity. Crammed in like sardines with the kind of respect usually reserved for galley slaves, we also are treated like 5-year-olds. The project supervisor, when preparing to make her first announcement of the project, apparently felt the need to say, "Faces. Faces." Apparently, anyone not looking at her could not hear her. I made a point of looking at the floor.

They weren't ready for us, in a technical sense. Documents aren't loaded, and the computers aren't set up properly, which is why we had to leave early today, the first day of the project. After training was over, we couldn't do anything because the technical difficulties prevented them from even teaching us how to log in. God knows what will happen tomorrow.

The law firm for whom we are working is well know for overstaffing, lying about overtime and then sending everybody home for the day or two because the documents aren't ready. When I say well-known, I mean it has happened on both the projects where I worked for this firm before. Can't wait to hit the trifecta.

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