Togooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Got a visitor from Togo recently, adding to my near-complete conquest of Africa. Had to look up where Togo is, truthfully. Officially the Togolese Republic, Togo is located in West Africa, with Ghana to the west, Benin to the east, and Burkina Faso to the north. Don't even get me started on Burkina Faso. The capital there is Ouagadougou, and for some reason I found this out when I was still in newspapers and wrote an entire humor column on the topic. In any event, with those neighbors, the country extends south to the Gulf of Guinea. The country covers only about 22,000 square miles, making i one of the smallest countries in Africa. It has a population of nearly 8 million, and is only about 71 miles wide.

The capital is Lome, located on the coast with the Gulf of Guinea. The economy is primarily agricultural, and the official language is French, although God only knows how many tribal languages are spoken there. Wikipedia and I do not. Togo used to be a German colony, but the French took over after World War I because that's the way the world works. A Togolese kayaker won a bronze medal at the 2008 Summer Olympics, the first person from his country to win an Olympic medal.

I tried to find some nice pictures of Togo, because I do that kind of thing for new visitors, but pretty much every picture that came up on Google had something to do with a movie called "Togo" that was about the dog that saved Nome, Alaska, from diptheria in the early 1900s that most people thought a dog named Balto did because of an animated movie called "Balto." Life is so complicated. I did find this, though:

Looks good to me. So, welcome to the Eff You family, Togo. Come back soon, and bring your friends.