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Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Oh crap, they fed us again

The project managers gave us the dreaded pizza yesterday. This cannot be a good sign. The Pizza is just one step short of The Handclap.

The Handclap, of course, is when everyone on the project is called into one room, the project manager stands at the front, claps his hands together and says something along the lines of "You guys have been great, we appreciate all your hard work and the client is really happy. Now get the fuck out of here, we're through with you. Don't let the door slap you on the ass on your way out." There are variations on the speech, of course, but it must be preceded by The Handclap (I'd call it The Clap, but that is an entirely different problem largely unrelated to contract attorney work.)

Before there is The Handclap, though, there is The Pizza. Some places routinely bring in pizza on Fridays, probably to keep the CAs guessing. If the agency brings in breakfast, that is not ominous, either. But if the agency doesn't at least occasionally bring in pizza, or if the pizza arrives on any day other than Friday, then that isn't lunch, that's The Pizza. The Pizza is that last little reward before you are tossed aside,  a surefire sign that you better start scrambling to find another project because this one is done. When you get The Pizza, it's all over but the crying. That swordfish is on ice.

So yesterday we got pizza. And sent home after lunch. And told not to come in today. And told that there is a "big load" of work coming in today to be processed and that we'll be back at it Thursday. Not sure yet if that's true, or if we've been given a Big Load and that was The Pizza. Only time will tell, I suppose.

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