Seriously, I said no questions

At the start of my current project, we had another example of why it is just plain foolish to ask contract attorneys if they have questions. This time, it was the person giving the tutorial on the document review software who made the faux pas. Because ofthe nature of the presentation -- it was about computer software, after all -- she was set up at the front of the room with a laptop, which was hooked up to a large monitor facing the group of CAs. She would demonstrate the software, and her actions would appear on the large monitor.

Unfortunately, the monitor was mounted at about desk height at the front of the room, meaning that anybody more than three rows back couldn't see what was going on. Having used the review platform in question before, I didn't care. In fact, the presenter busted me for dozing off. She prompted the people around me to wake me up, which they did. You ain't lived until people on three sides of you have shaken you awake. I'm glad she made them do it, though, as otherwise I would have missed what followed.

After demonstrating a feature of the review software, the presenter foolishly asked if there were any questions. I seriously doubt she expected what she got. Some dude in the middle of the room raised his hand, and demonstrated why he is a contract attorney.

Presenter: Any questions?

CA: Yeah, how would you feel about raising the monitor up so we could actually see it?

Presenter: I could, but it would take both hands and then I couldn't do the presentation.

This is a total dick question on pretty much every level. "How would you feel?" Seriously? Like the presenter had anything to do with the physical set up and decided that it would be really cool to fuck with the people from the fourth row back by putting the monitor too low for them to see.  I fantasize that, on his way home that night, the tool who asked the question was accosted by a large, angry man who asked him how he felt about giving up his wallet and all of the contents, that he replied that he didn't feel real good about that, and that the large angry man then beat him to a bloody pulp. Probably didn't happen.