Saturday, January 30, 2016

I smell something. It smells like . . . fear.

Actually, it smells like burned popcorn. For third time in four days, some idiot -- Latin for temp --  has burned popcorn in the microwave.

The reason this person -- or multiple persons -- is/are idiots is not because they burned their popcorn. It is why they burned their popcorn. From the first day of this project, it has been clear that the microwave oven in the kitchen is very low wattage and is not up to making popcorn. The microwave pops about 1/3 of the bag and then starts burning what has popped. Happens every time, and has happened every time for about six weeks. Some people are slow learners. Not only do they continue to try and make popcorn in the clearly underpowered microwave oven available to them, they set the timer and then go away, not even bothering to monitor the progress of their intended taste treat.

This approach might work at home, where you are familiar with the microwave settings that will produce primo popcorn. If you are not sure of the appropriate settings on an unfamiliar microwave, that approach might not be a good idea. And in a situation where you know that every attempt at microwave popcorn results in burned popcorn and the smell of death permeating the review space, it might not be a good idea to set the timer and then walk away.

You can't eat that burned-up shit, but we can smell it. All day long.

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