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Friday, December 12, 2014

I'd have to say that truer words were never spoken

What words are those, you ask? (I know you're asking.) Well, according to a headline in The Washington Post recently, "Uranus might be full of surprises."  I've been sitting on this for a few weeks, pun intended. I'm no astronomer, after all, but even I knew that Uranus might be full of surprises, so it struck me as kind of belaboring the obvious. And, as you might expect, the surprises about Uranus are inside it:
Scientists used to think that things were pretty chill over in the south hemisphere of Uranus. In fact, they thought it was one of the calmest regions of any of the gas giants. But in analyzing images taken nearly three decades ago by NASA's Voyager-2 spacecraft, researchers think they've found a kerfuffle of activity — which might indicate that there's something unusual about the planet's interior.
So that makes total sense. The Post, being a family publication, declines to go into great depths regarding the surprises Uranus might be full of. What has always surprised me is that somebody thought that was a good name for a planet. Yes, it keeps in line with the standard of naming planets after Greek and Roman mythological gods (Uranus was "the ancient Greek deity of the Heavens, the earliest supreme god." Still, it seems like the guy who named the planet should have said the name out loud first, then given some consideration to Zeus or Hera or Aphrodite or something. I always figured the name arose from a conversation between rival astronomers in an era before "Your mama" became a preferred non-responsive response to questions people didn't want to give a straight answer to. Something like this:

Rival Astronomer No. 1, looking through his telescope: By Jove, I've found it!

Rival Astronomer No. 2, hoping to steal a discovery: Found what?

Rival Astronomer No. 1, issuing an insulting non-responsive response because he just fucking hates Rival Astronomer No. 2: Your anus.

One simple misspelling later and we have the planet Uranus. Probably should have gone with Jove.

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