Sunday, May 29, 2016

Nicaragua, where the wind comes sweeping down the plains, or something like that

Got a first-time visit from Nicaragua this week. Yeah, I get it, there's a lot of that going on lately. You have no idea. But you will. I might have more first-time visitor posts in the next few days than kit-tay pictures. Think about that.

Anyway, this one is Nicaragua, which is
officially the Republic of Nicaragua, is the largest country in the Central American isthmus. The population of Nicaragua is slightly over 6 million. Nicaragua's capital, Managua, is the third-largest city in Central America. The multi-ethnic population includes indigenous peoples, Europeans, Africans, Asians. The main language is Spanish. Native tribes on the eastern coast speak their own languages.
The Spanish Empire conquered the region in the 16th century. Nicaragua gained independence from Spain in 1821. Since its independence, Nicaragua has undergone periods of political unrest, dictatorship, and fiscal crisis—the most notable causes that led to the Nicaraguan Revolution of the 1960s and 1970s. Nicaragua is a representative democratic republic.
I'm not even going to get into Nicaragua's political history. Like many southern-hemisphere countries, it is a long litany of revolution, dictatorships and democracies that really aren't. Suffice to say that the current president is the guy who led the communist revolution of the 1980s, and that the legislature amended the constitution to let him run for a third consecutive term. Whatevs.

Nicaragua is pretty damn tropical, which means it's hot, pretty much everywhere:
Nicaragua occupies a landmass of 130,967 km2 (50,567 sq mi). Nicaragua has three distinct geographical regions: the Pacific lowlands - fertile valleys which the Spanish colonists settled, the Amerrisque Mountains (North-central highlands), and the Mosquito Coast (Atlantic lowlands/Caribbean lowlands).
The low plains of the Atlantic Coast are 97 km (60 mi) wide in areas. They have long been exploited for their natural resources.
On the Pacific side of Nicaragua are the two largest fresh water lakes in Central America—Lake Managua and Lake Nicaragua. Surrounding these lakes and extending to their northwest along the rift valley of the Gulf of Fonseca are fertile lowland plains, with soil highly enriched by ash from nearby volcanoes of the central highlands. Nicaragua's abundance of biologically significant and unique ecosystems contribute to Mesoamerica's designation as a biodiversity hotspot.
The population of roughly 6 million is largely Mestizo, meaning a mix of European and indigenous peoples (Indians, y'all). They're pretty Catholic, but the government really runs the church. All in all, the country is pretty but poor -- nearly half the population lives below the poverty line, and almost 80 percent live on $2 per day, which makes you wonder what the fuck the poverty line is. It also makes you want to tell "poor" people in this country to shut the fuck up, but that is a different conversation.

In any event, welcome to Eff You nation, Nicaragua. I'm sure you recognize this:

Welcome, y'all.

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